Academic Post:

I wonder whether it's necessary anymore to talk about digressions. That way of thinking about Beowulf is pre-Robinson, pre-Lyerle, pre-Niles, all of whom have advanced more or less persuasive ways of thinking about the episodic structure of Beowulf that seems to obviate the discussion of digressions. However. Nobody so far as I know has tried to do a really comprehensive reading of the digressions. I would like to go through them with a checklist. Someone wrote that they are all about feuds; that's very interesting.

It would be a very interesting short paper to work backwards through the digressions and see whether they had been accounted for.

I don't agree with Niles about the central moment of the poem being somehow deeply significant or Christian. Hmmmmmm.

Oh my gosh, this radio station is improving my life.

I am creating a list of sources as I read them so that I don't forget:

Invocation of the Trinity and the Tradition of the Lorica in Old English Poetry

It's also really working well for me to stay here at the library and work.

I wonder if I would like Talk Talk: Spirit of Eden.

I am behind on my deadline for TMC. I was supposed to turn in that abstract. I don't even know whether it was supposed to be turned in today in person or by e-mail. . . how does that even work? What do I say about why it was late?

Somehow I feel tired and stressed and joyless. I don't really like presentation season.

Actually, the abstract is due today. So I am only three hours late. I think I can take that.

I need to write four or five response papers for that class.

I have two days of work for Paleography.

I have to write that proposal.

I need to plan a little bit more aggressively once I get through the short-term stuff.

I also need to stop stressing about what I will do this summer. I will solve that problem when I get to it.

I am doing fine. I am just fine. I just need to use the next three or four weeks well. This level of anxiety is normal and I just need to ignore it and tend to business.

I just spent 1:30 watching Brothers and Sisters on the Internet.

But that was fun, and I got other stuff done today. So I feel okay about it.

I need to rock out tomorrow and see how much I can study successfully.

I spent thirty minutes working on Learning Center graphics. That was a mistake.

I need to narrow my focus for all these papers *now*. That will save me some time.

Wow, do I need to start reading and rereading.

I solved my printer problem and came close to having a header for the LC and I like what I did.

At the same time, I was really frustrated with myself because that wasn't the best use of my time.

Hmm. This sounds familiar. I did this earlier with the website.

I think I need to talk to Elizabeth about getting just a subletter this summer. Then I need to devote myself completely to my schoolwork: avoid getting caught up in home projects, avoid getting caught up in LC projects. I can take notes on what will need to be done eventually, and I can focus on short-term maintenance (like bringing in those articles for Okjung). But anything big, like the new websites etc., will have to wait.

Before the meeting on May 5, I need to let Alan know that the three major things on the docket will be a) infrastructure and b) communication, which in this case will mainly mean that I am listening and know that other people are listening.

I need to make sure in my relationship with Alan that I don't make the same mistake I did with Jonathan and the website: i.e., to the degree that I am in a leadership position, I need to act like it. (Thinking about that.)

Here are my deadlines for finals:

Beowulf paper: May 16 Weds at 5 p.m., 15 pp. in theory

TMC paper: May 15 Tues, 20-25 pp.
TMC presentation: April 26 Thurs

Chaucer paper: May 21

Paleography Exam: May 7 Mon
Paleography Presentation May 2 Weds

Paleography final: May 25 Fri

Wow, this really is, like, hundreds of hours of work.

I guess the reality of getting places on time is also the reality of getting papers done on time. There is no "on time"; there is only early or late. So if I want these papers to get done on time, I have to plan on getting them done early.

How did I allow myself to become so disorganized physically this semester? I

note to self. . .

I feel a lot better studying here with good music in my headphones, a clear surface, and some red wine to drink. I am so blessed that I have a fully loaded computer. That memory is really making my Adobe applications work, and my Adobe applications are a godsend. I hope I can create enough value for the LC to be worth a significant raise this summer.

I need to finish organizing the mailing portion of my website.

Here's how.

1) I need to make a decision about how these books will be shipped.

2) I need to set shipping and handling prices that a) reflect actual costs of shipping and b) can be broken down into a pricing table instead of a per-unit table.

3) I need to input all that information into PayPal.

I ended up having a more productive week than I expected.

Today I had a mildly disconcerting conversation with one of the other employees. I was encouraging him to ask for a raise if it would enable him to stay over the summer instead of going home. His response made me wonder how much he is getting paid. I shouldn't care so much because I need to ask for a raise over the summer anyway, and I need to establish new value before I do it, so it doesn't change my game plan much. I need to find out what students are paying. I don't think he is making more than I am planning to ask for.

I wonder if I should hire Chaline?

I need some good advice.

5:27 a.m.

Here's what I need to give myself credit for this week:

1) I got a lot done on Beowulf, even if I don't feel like it.
2) I'm on track to work out once more this week than last week.
3) I broke the back of the roman blind monster. I think.
4) I filed my FAFSA.

Here's what I still need to do this week:

1) Figure out for sure whether I am in those two classes.
2) Call Carol.
3) Get materials organized to study for finals.
4) File the rest of financial aid materials.
5) Spend several hours organizing, cleaning, and sorting.
6) Begin new list of expenses for learning center.
7) Call Cynthia.
8) Order new books and binders for learning center.

If possible, finish blinds.

I feel really terrible about the number of corners I've cut so far this semester.

I really want to catch up. At the same time, I want to make my apartment look nice. I feel like I have 30+ hours of work to do that.

I hate, hate, hate the windows. I have to fix the windows.

This is why I'm still up at 5:26 in the morning.

I wonder if I should try getting Esther's friend to make the blinds for the living room.

a) Would it even work?
b) Would it be more or less work than just doing it myself?
c) Would it be worth the money?

I wonder how long it will take me to clean up.

I wonder how long it would take me to catch up in all of my classes.

Here are the things I should be doing, as much as possible:

1) Delegating and managing.
2) Picking up my stuff, 10 minutes a day.
3) Recording how I spend my time.
4) Recording how I spend my money.
5) Working out four times a week.
6) Eating in more and eating out less.
7) Praying and going to church.

I think I better prepare myself to leave Cambridge in two years, as much as I hate the idea.

I can't control my life. I can't control getting in to a top Ph.D. program. I have to get ready to take some risks.

I don't want to move to a place without Peet's coffee and a learning center. . . or without a top-quality Old English program.

Maybe Yale. Or Stanford. ??

Things to Try. . .

1. Call Carol.
2. Start recording money spent and time spent.
3. Start picking up, 10' a day.
4. Tomorrow: clean up and get physically organized and prepared. Especially: a) return all library books; b) go to reserve desk and survey the Beowulf materials; c) gather paleography materials.
5. Turn in financial aid paperwork.
6. Pray about weaknesses.
7. Go see registrar.

I did get quite a bit done for my Beowulf paper.

Now it's 5:06 a.m. . . .

I can't believe this.

I woke up at 12:00 p.m. today, but still.

I am so far from being able to sleep. And I was watching my caffeine intake today.

I guess my deposit hasn't gone through??

I spent so much money today too. I bought the Chickering Beowulf, and the Sacks book on Elegy. . . that's $30+. And I bought dinner and beer. That was $23. And I bought lunch. That was $6. And I bought coffee and bread. That was $4. A whopping $40 on food. . . that would be $1200 a month if I did that habitually. Which, to be honest, I don't.

What was my time like? Well, I got up at 12:00 p.m. Took about an hour or an hour and a half to get ready, talking to my roommates. Went to class. Got caught up in a conversation with a lady at the coffee shop; 20 minutes. Left class. Bought coffee; spent an hour or so looking for Sacks' English Elegy; took the bus to the gym. I guess all of that time in town took about three hours, including the ride home. That's a lot of wasted time. And I worked out. And then I came home and wasted thirty minutes. And then I went to Uno's and worked and ate, and then I came home and played on the Internet and worked some more.

Tomorrow I need to file that financial aid paperwork. I didn't do it even though it was supposed to be my #1. I have about six #1 priorities right now, and I am scared about catching up in my non-officially registered classes, and I am scared about finals. And I am deeply, deeply scared that I can't seem to maintain even the most important habits for my well-being and that I waste as much time every day as I spend. And my spiritual life is at zero.

2:16 in the morning. . . homework unfinished. . .

This is not what I want to be doing with my time.

I got a lot done today, but I'm not sure it was the right stuff.

I don't think I'm going to my Beowulf class tomorrow, because I'm not prepared for it.

I still feel behind. And I still haven't filed for financial aid.

Wow, am I in need of divine grace.

What would it take for me to even feel in control of my time? Is it a pipe dream? Should I feel bad about taking four or five hours to make the learning center website look good? It's much more useable at this point. . . and I think I may, through Jesus' mercy, have broken the back of the Incredible Roman Blinds Monster.

I also spent two or three hours on my Beowulf paper. . . and that was good.

But I think it was probably the wrong choice to spend all of my time *tonight* on the webpage instead of plowing through my own coursework. I have a good idea for an excellent final paper, maybe even a publishable one. And I am about 75 lines behind, which is about an hour and a half of work. I haven't even started thinking seriously about my other final papers.

I need to deal with my stuff tomorrow. I am happy that I got a lot done. That was good. And it was creative stuff, which is also good. But it probably wasn't the very highest priority stuff, and in the long run, that really does matter. The learning center could have gotten along with an ugly website. But I have less than a month to write 70-100 pages of papers that really matter, and that have a real deadline.

Here are my real priorities:

1) Faith (learning to abide more in God and depend more on God)
2) Service (interacting with children in a way that makes them feel cared for)
2) Vocation (literary criticism and creative writing)
3) Higher-order self-preservation (the house, the gym, my hair, my bills)
4) Careerist stuff (making sure I exceed my job responsibilities at the learning center, getting to class on time)

How can I balance all of these things? Where are relationships on this list? What should I do about all the make-or-break coursework that I have coming up? How can I do a better job tomorrow?

If I do absolutely nothing else tomorrow, I need to deal with my financial stuff. . .

I'm afraid I should just go to class even without preparing.

I'm pretty angry at myself for not making it to the gym more frequently.

How on earth am I going to keep my head above water?

Somehow all of this not-having-enough-time ends up inextricably time to the not-having-enough-money. . . which is pretty ridiculous.

I need to get off the hamster wheel.

?? Is it my values? My perfectionism? My anxiety?

I feel like it's partly just that I'm in school, and I need to be in school, and I don't have time or room to be in school. In many ways, it's not what I would have chosen for myself; it's been a significant sacrifice. It keeps me from the lower-down items on my list, and it contributes to the whole money-time merry-go-round.

Maybe it would be possible, and even wise, to spend two years out of school paying off my debt?

But if I did that, would I ever go back? I feel like I'm ahead of myself already.

I can't keep on living in this limbo, however; the pressure of the denial is killing me.

I spent so much time trying to make those blinds. . .

I have spent a hundred million hours, it feels like, trying to complete the "simple" project of creating some roman blinds for my bedroom.

Here's a partial breakdown:

1) 2 hours trying to thread my machine;
2) 20 minutes finding my sewing machine manual;
3) 20 minutes finding my sewing scissors and other supplies;
4) 4 hours yesterday squaring, measuring, and cutting panels;
5) 1 hour today trying to sew a single straight seam, eventually broken into intervals because of the loops;

6) 30 minutes finding lumber;
7) 2 hours finding and buying loop tape;
8) 30 minutes buying a saw.

What is really making me crazy, though, is that I don't understand my machine, so all of the above time is very stressful. I think that's the big x factor. For instance, why on earth is all this thread knotting? I wish I had the time for one of those get-to-know-your-machine classes. . .

I need to figure out why the thread is knotting, and what to do about it. I am also stressed out by the possibility that I am using the wrong equipment. . . especially the wrong feet or needles. . . and just don't know it.

Prepositions in Academic Discourse

Prepositions are a tremendous problem, as. . . to a lesser degree. . . are articles. I wonder where pronouns fit?

I think I need to do a richer statistical analysis of problems in student writing, and figure out which dilemmas really should be solved.

This research project would have two parts:

1) Research into the high-frequency *trouble spots*, i.e. the types of mistakes that intermediate and advanced level ESL students most often make in their writing;

2) Research into the high-frequency items of academic discourse, especially prepositions: in other words, which prepositions (and, more generally, language items and rules governing preposition use) are most common and important for academic writing?

Approaching this project successfully would require a great deal of reading in educational literature, as well as the compilation of a great deal of student writing. (I think I saw a corpus like this somewhere. . . need to find it?)

A good beginning for all of these issues might be getting the Intermediate Grammar in Use problems in the form of flash cards, and starting to hack them and mash them up.

Two possible proxies for these types of issues:

1) The SAT Writing people have clearly decided on a hierarchy of student errors to test: Verbs, Pronouns, Everything Else (Diction, Adjectives and Adverbs, Prepositions, etc.) This order corresponds roughly to my own experience of student writing problems. Is it possible to use this hierarchy as a way to structure a student writing curriculum?

This basic idea could be taught at the same time as the correct writing of a so-called loose sentence, and the basic rule of keeping one's nouns and verbs together.

2) Could we use the Michael West General Service List and the Academic Word List as a basis for research, and observe the patterns of preposition usage that occur most frequently with those nouns and verbs, on the basic assumption that prepositions are essentially dependent on other parts of speech and that teaching the correct and complete use of high-frequency nouns and verbs will allow us to teach the use of the highest-frequency prepositions? At least beyond the basic prepositions of time and space?

It strikes me that prepositions used to convey cause-and-effect, as well as prepositions used to convey circumstances-under-which, are routinely the most problematic. These prepositions are frequently used independent of other nouns and verbs. I need to read and study more about this isse: I have two good resources to help me, both The Ins and Outs of Prepositions as well as the Longman Grammar.

I wonder if I will be able to hack up the BNC Baby corpus in order to create another, more student-friendly corpus containing only sentences with appropriate readability scores. That would be absolutely fantastic.

Does the Longman consider prepositions to function, essentially, as dependent particles? Or does it treat them as lexical items?

In summary, possible indexes of preposition use:

1) Usage of lexical terms such as nouns and verbs, upon which prepositions routinely depend;
2) The Longman Grammar index;
3) The BNC Baby Academic corpus;
4) Understanding of basic functions of prepositions, such as time and space.
5) External linguistic and educational research??

It seems that it would be easy to compile a fairly comprehensive record of prepositions used commonly in English, simply by combining the lists found in the most comprehensive references. However, there is no way this list could be truly all-inclusive. Moreover, a list that suggests nothing about frequency does not really help the early learner.

One last question: which is a more critical issue for the beginning writer, prepositions or pronouns?

Must. . . return. . . later. . . . and think about this in light of others' findings, such as the Longman.

Example Sentences

I think I need to pull a bunch of example sentences from various corpus sources in order to help students learn the words. I should also pull synonyms.

The up sides:

1) Makes the resource seem more expensive;
2) Allows students to return to the resource later in order to work on active vocabulary;
3) Allows advanced students to master vocabulary and not just learn vague terms.

The down sides:

1) Does not really contain enough information to allow usage
2) Does not allow student to memorize or practice correct usage
3) May contain sentences that are too complex or difficult for children to understand (i.e., may be more confusing than helpful.)
4) May give the illusion of helping children to build their active vocabulary without actually doing it.

And then there's the far more expensive, but extremely preferable, possibility of adding visual mnemonic sentences for each word. The cost for that would run into the thousands. . . probably about a dollar per word. Ultimately, however, it might be the best option all around in that it would illustrate usage and also make the word more memorable.

The million-dollar solution is probably as follows:

A goofy, easy to visualize mnemonic sentence (ideally with an illustration);
Three example sentences tailored to the likely reading level of the children learning the words;
Usage information that includes a) answers to the all-important usage questions, like connotation and "Which words should this be used with?" as well as b) information comparing the words and its synonyms;
Flash cards that help students rehearse the key points of usage as well as the information of knowing the word itself.
A set of short stories that allows the student to see each word in context three to five times
Information about word inflection and morphology (i.e., learning words as families and not simply as individual terms).

The High Frequency Children's Lists

I cannot for the life of me remember how I organized the high-frequency lists for children. It looks like the following things are true:

1) List 1 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Michael West General Service List;

2) List 3 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Academic Word List;

3) The lists are approximately in order of difficulty.

One important question: should I reorganize the words so that early learners in high school can skip books 5-6? Also, how much overlap is there between these lists and the SSAT lists (especially between books 5-6 and the SSAT lists)?