The Introduction: Entering the Conversation
The Conclusion: Exiting the Conversation
Monday, August 6, 2007
Anglo-Saxon England (2002), 31: 81-140 Cambridge University Press
Copyright © 2002 Cambridge University Press
Published online by Cambridge University Press 12May2003
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Daniel, the Three Youths fragment and the transmission of Old English verse
Paul G. Remley a1
a1 University of Washington, Seattle
The theories of oral-formulaic composition advanced by Albert B. Lord, his mentor and collaborator Milman Parry, and their later twentieth-century followers have been adduced frequently in studies of Old English verse, elements of whose language must go back ultimately to an oral tradition. After decades of research, however, scholars have yet to find conclusive answers to some basic questions: did literate Anglo-Saxons continue to practise techniques of extemporaneous versification? If so, did they continue to develop the mnemonic skills attributed to oral poets? It is clear that the monuments of Old English verse reveal many examples of formulaic language (for example, se mæra maga Healfdenes, se mæra mago Healfdenes and se mæra maga Ecgðeowes); but should we regard this language as a reliable witness to oral-formulaic versification or, perhaps, as a hybrid, ‘literary-formulaic’ idiom? Finally, if we accept the synchronic (or achronic) models of the formulaic ‘word-hoard’ that inform many Old English studies, is it pointless even to speculate about poetic influence, direction of borrowing and similar concerns? If so, how should we regard, say, two parallel uses of the unusual phrase enge anpaðas, occurring verbatim in Beowulf and the poetic Exodus but nowhere else among the surviving monuments? Must we view these parallels as isolated outcroppings in the trackless expanse of the Old English poetic corpus? Largely as a result of the scarcity of verse preserved in multiple copies, such questions have remained debatable into the present century.
Copyright © 2002 Cambridge University Press
Published online by Cambridge University Press 12May2003
* Login
* Subscribe to journal
* Email abstract
* Save citation
* Content alerts
Daniel, the Three Youths fragment and the transmission of Old English verse
Paul G. Remley a1
a1 University of Washington, Seattle
The theories of oral-formulaic composition advanced by Albert B. Lord, his mentor and collaborator Milman Parry, and their later twentieth-century followers have been adduced frequently in studies of Old English verse, elements of whose language must go back ultimately to an oral tradition. After decades of research, however, scholars have yet to find conclusive answers to some basic questions: did literate Anglo-Saxons continue to practise techniques of extemporaneous versification? If so, did they continue to develop the mnemonic skills attributed to oral poets? It is clear that the monuments of Old English verse reveal many examples of formulaic language (for example, se mæra maga Healfdenes, se mæra mago Healfdenes and se mæra maga Ecgðeowes); but should we regard this language as a reliable witness to oral-formulaic versification or, perhaps, as a hybrid, ‘literary-formulaic’ idiom? Finally, if we accept the synchronic (or achronic) models of the formulaic ‘word-hoard’ that inform many Old English studies, is it pointless even to speculate about poetic influence, direction of borrowing and similar concerns? If so, how should we regard, say, two parallel uses of the unusual phrase enge anpaðas, occurring verbatim in Beowulf and the poetic Exodus but nowhere else among the surviving monuments? Must we view these parallels as isolated outcroppings in the trackless expanse of the Old English poetic corpus? Largely as a result of the scarcity of verse preserved in multiple copies, such questions have remained debatable into the present century.
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
I made the somewhat upsetting discovery today that most of these kids lack intrinsic motivation altogether. This is a problem because it's a major cultural difference; it makes it more difficult for these kiddos to fit into our educational system.
The foundation of good reading practices: a) authentic reading; b) authentic writing; c) strong rote; d) fluency development. a) and b) are good targets for intrinsic motivation; c) and d) are good targets for extrinsic motivation.
The foundation of good reading practices: a) authentic reading; b) authentic writing; c) strong rote; d) fluency development. a) and b) are good targets for intrinsic motivation; c) and d) are good targets for extrinsic motivation.
recap (summary, return to main idea)
revisit your main idea, perhaps in more detail of with a change in emphasis. If you like, strengthen the cause-and-effect relationship in your thesis.
take your main point and apply it to a broader topic. Connect it to issues outside the scope of your main argument. However, don't introduce a new claim (cause0and0effect statement). Just show us how your earlier claim can be applied to a broader category of stuff.
To finish your conclusion, help us evaluate your idea. Show us that it provides a significant and meaningful answer to an important question. You have already successfully answered a question. Now you must show us why the question mattered.
revisit your main idea, perhaps in more detail of with a change in emphasis. If you like, strengthen the cause-and-effect relationship in your thesis.
take your main point and apply it to a broader topic. Connect it to issues outside the scope of your main argument. However, don't introduce a new claim (cause0and0effect statement). Just show us how your earlier claim can be applied to a broader category of stuff.
To finish your conclusion, help us evaluate your idea. Show us that it provides a significant and meaningful answer to an important question. You have already successfully answered a question. Now you must show us why the question mattered.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Inferring:
Most literary elements of stories require us to *infer*. For instance, even character studies require us to infer by connecting characters' appearance, behavior, etc. to their personality traits. Often, in making these inferences, we connect clues from the text to our background knowledge. For instance, if we describe a character as "good-natured," we need to know not only what the character has said or done that marks him as good-natured, but also what good-natured means. The quality of our inference depends not only on our attention to the text but also on the quality of our background knowledge. When your background knowledge is accurate, your attention to the text is close, and your connections are logical, then your inferences are likely to be strong. When you are writing about your inferences and observations, it is often a good idea to state your background knowledge clearly and even back it up with sources, so that your reader will understand the source of your inference.
Literary elements often operate to make the specific textbound details more universal. When we are making inferences about symbols, for instance, we should usually look for abstract meanings. We should also usually look for meanings that are not limited to the specific place and time in which the story occurs, but may have relevance for other people living at other places and times. (If the story has no deep or universal significance, it is usually found in a newspaper or a history book, not a collection of literature).
As you begin to write paragraphs about your inferences, you will likely discover that you don't have enough details to support your inferences. Inferring and attention to detail go hand in hand. Once you have an inference, you should go back to the text and look for other details that support your idea. You should also read carefully, asking yourself questions and writing on the page, the first time through the story.
Since you should usually have several supporting details for each paragraph, your topic sentence will need to be broader than your examples, because it needs to include all of them.
Most literary elements of stories require us to *infer*. For instance, even character studies require us to infer by connecting characters' appearance, behavior, etc. to their personality traits. Often, in making these inferences, we connect clues from the text to our background knowledge. For instance, if we describe a character as "good-natured," we need to know not only what the character has said or done that marks him as good-natured, but also what good-natured means. The quality of our inference depends not only on our attention to the text but also on the quality of our background knowledge. When your background knowledge is accurate, your attention to the text is close, and your connections are logical, then your inferences are likely to be strong. When you are writing about your inferences and observations, it is often a good idea to state your background knowledge clearly and even back it up with sources, so that your reader will understand the source of your inference.
Literary elements often operate to make the specific textbound details more universal. When we are making inferences about symbols, for instance, we should usually look for abstract meanings. We should also usually look for meanings that are not limited to the specific place and time in which the story occurs, but may have relevance for other people living at other places and times. (If the story has no deep or universal significance, it is usually found in a newspaper or a history book, not a collection of literature).
As you begin to write paragraphs about your inferences, you will likely discover that you don't have enough details to support your inferences. Inferring and attention to detail go hand in hand. Once you have an inference, you should go back to the text and look for other details that support your idea. You should also read carefully, asking yourself questions and writing on the page, the first time through the story.
Since you should usually have several supporting details for each paragraph, your topic sentence will need to be broader than your examples, because it needs to include all of them.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
They Say, I Say: "Letter From Birmingham Jail"; Op-Eds
Social Sciences
Language and Communications
History
Politics and Government
Cultural Critique
Humanities
(An Album of Styles)
Literature and the Arts
Philosophy and Religion
Narrative
Personal Report
People, Places
(Education)
Prose Forms: Journals
Natural Science
Nature and the Environment
Science
Human Nature
Irony
Prose Forms: Proverbs
Social Sciences
Language and Communications
History
Politics and Government
Cultural Critique
Humanities
(An Album of Styles)
Literature and the Arts
Philosophy and Religion
Narrative
Personal Report
People, Places
(Education)
Prose Forms: Journals
Natural Science
Nature and the Environment
Science
Human Nature
Irony
Prose Forms: Proverbs
Friday, July 13, 2007
specific-sounding choices that lack concrete details
inference: cause-and-effect info.
reading: unfamiliar text more actively
main idea should a) make claim about the topic and b) lack concrete detail
after 500s, try reading 1st, 2nd, and last sentences of supporting paragraphs; skim everything else.
300=range scorers: very weak scanning skills. Need to work on scanning skills.
inference is really all about cause and effect.
What would author A say about ref B is really inference. Compare main idea of passage A with ref and find connection, then answer question.
inference: cause-and-effect info.
reading: unfamiliar text more actively
main idea should a) make claim about the topic and b) lack concrete detail
after 500s, try reading 1st, 2nd, and last sentences of supporting paragraphs; skim everything else.
300=range scorers: very weak scanning skills. Need to work on scanning skills.
inference is really all about cause and effect.
What would author A say about ref B is really inference. Compare main idea of passage A with ref and find connection, then answer question.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Monday, July 2, 2007
What could I do?
Well, first of all, I could start by stripping down that list:
a) running it through the prefix-suffix remover;
b) running it through the list of criteria I already posted.
Then I could run it through WordNet and pick up some definitions and synonyms.
Then I could parse it against itself and remove all the synonyms that weren't in the list.
Then I could pull the example sentences and the collocates.
Well, first of all, I could start by stripping down that list:
a) running it through the prefix-suffix remover;
b) running it through the list of criteria I already posted.
Then I could run it through WordNet and pick up some definitions and synonyms.
Then I could parse it against itself and remove all the synonyms that weren't in the list.
Then I could pull the example sentences and the collocates.
If only that site can be parsed! (!!)
Then I would want to yank:
a) the collocates:
for intransitive verbs, nouns one before, prepositions one after, and nouns two after;
b) for transitive verbs, nouns one before and nouns one after;
c) for adjectives, nouns one after;
d) for prepositions, nouns one before, verbs one before, and nouns one after.
Also: 3 example sentences per word, ideally based on collocates, maybe one for each.
Then I would want to yank:
a) the collocates:
for intransitive verbs, nouns one before, prepositions one after, and nouns two after;
b) for transitive verbs, nouns one before and nouns one after;
c) for adjectives, nouns one after;
d) for prepositions, nouns one before, verbs one before, and nouns one after.
Also: 3 example sentences per word, ideally based on collocates, maybe one for each.
The Wish List of Extremely Robust Searchiness:
1) Def.
2) Synonyms *without* slangy or obscene ones.
3) Robust collocation locator.
4) Example sentences:
a) with appropriate collocates;
b) at a good reading level.
5) Use of the following webpage:
http://www.unc.edu/~jelsas/Research/TextMiningToolkit/manual/
1) Def.
2) Synonyms *without* slangy or obscene ones.
3) Robust collocation locator.
4) Example sentences:
a) with appropriate collocates;
b) at a good reading level.
5) Use of the following webpage:
http://www.unc.edu/~jelsas/Research/TextMiningToolkit/manual/
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Thursday, June 21, 2007
I am happy to confirm that upon checking on the availability of the SAT Disclosed Tests, the service is still offered.
*** Can you tell me what 2003 SAT's are available for purchase?
This is the list of tests available as of September 24, 2003
May 2003 Saturday
May 2003 Sunday
January 2003 Saturday
October 2002 Saturday
May 2002 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 3rd ed
May 2002 Sunday
January 2002 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 3rd ed
October 2001 Saturday
May 2001 Saturday
May 2001 Sunday
Jan 2001 Saturday
Oct 2000 Saturday in taking the SAT 2002-03
May 2000 Saturday
May 2000 Sunday in 10 Real SATs 2nd ed.
Jan 2000 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 2nd ed.
May 1999 Saturday
May 1999 Sunday
Jan 1999 Saturday
Oct 1998 Saturday
May 1998 Saturday
Nov 1997 Saturday
*** Can you tell me what address to send the request to?
The College Board
SAT Department-Disclosed Tests
45 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY 10023-6992
*** Can you tell me how much they cost?
Four (4) dollars each and that includes shipping charges WORLDWIDE.
*** Can you tell me if they take credit cards or paypal?
No, they only accept checks. The check must be payable to The College Board.
*** Can you tell me if I need to call and get an email first?
No, that was in the beginning when we had to obtain verification. Rest assured that the service exists and that the list will stay current until the end of the year
*** Is there a "person-in-charge" at the College Board? I have emailed and talked to Jhonny St.Victor. But again, I would simply send my order in and attach the check.
*** Can you tell me if I need to buy them all?
No, order what you need. There is no minimum order. Also, check the list for some tests that ARE already in the various 10Real Sats or available online. The link to May 2002 Saturday and October 2001:
http://www.collegeboard.com/sat/html/may2002/test_sections.html
*** Can you tell me if I should call them first?
You can call them as much as your heart desires. The phone number is 212-713-8097 and the operator is 212-713-8000. However, it is an expensive and unnecessary step. Use the list and write a simple order.
*** Can you tell me if they have SAT II?
Nope! They do not have SAT-II tests.
*** Can you tell me if they have PSAT Tests?
The PSAT tests are sold by ETS. Call 609-771-7243 and ask for PSAT Disclosed Tests. They cost $3.00 a piece with free mailing. ETS does accept phone orders and accept credit cards. For faster service, you can ask them to FedEx your order, but it will cost you 20 buckaroos! THey will confirm what tests are available when placing your order. It seems that they have the last 6 PSAT tests.
*** Can you tell me how long it takes to get them?
About 10 days in US - 20 days overseas due to the snail mail process.
*** Can you tell me how they ship?
They stick the tests in a big brown envelope and send it regular mail.
*** Can you tell me if they come with an answer key?
Yes, it is same format as 10RS books. Answers and difficulty levels are provided but NO explanations.
*** Can you tell me what my letter/order form should say?
Here is the letter that I used months ago. Just make the changes for number of tests and amount of checks.
Your name
Your address
Your city
The College Board
SAT Department-Disclosed Tests
45 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY 10023-6992
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Here is a list of disclosed tests I would like to purchase.
1. January 2003 Saturday
2. October 2002 Saturday
3. May 2002 Sunday
4. May 2001 Saturday
5. May 2001 Sunday
6. Jan 2001 Saturday
7. May 2000 Saturday
8. May 1999 Saturday
9. May 1999 Sunday
10. Jan 1999 Saturday
11. Oct 1998 Saturday
12. May 1998 Saturday
13. Nov 1997 Saturday
I understand that there is a $4.00 fee per test ordered (includes shipping and handling). Accordingly I enclose a check made out to The College Board for $52.00. Please mail my order to Xiggi, 5 Analogy Lane, Satville, CB, 00007. If you have any questions regarding this order, please contact me at Xiggi@aol.com or at 1-800-SAT-GURU.
Sincerely,
Xiggi
That's it, folks!
By Xiggi (Xiggi) on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 08:47 pm: Edit
up you go
By Jje (Jje) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 07:10 pm: Edit
if anyone is wondering i order the following tests on sept 22
1. January 2003 Saturday
2. October 2002 Saturday
3. May 2002 Sunday
4. May 2001 Saturday
5. May 2001 Sunday
6. Jan 2001 Saturday
7. May 2000 Saturday
8. May 1999 Saturday
9. May 1999 Sunday
10. Jan 1999 Saturday
they shipped on the 26 and arrived in PA on 29, all came except october 2002 sat
By Xiggi (Xiggi) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 07:52 pm: Edit
I ordered a few PSAT tests and they shipped the same day I ordered. I received them in 3 days.
It seems that the service works pretty well.
By Wjk323 (Wjk323) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 08:01 pm: Edit
Man...i wish i can order some SAT II's though...
=(
*** Can you tell me what 2003 SAT's are available for purchase?
This is the list of tests available as of September 24, 2003
May 2003 Saturday
May 2003 Sunday
January 2003 Saturday
October 2002 Saturday
May 2002 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 3rd ed
May 2002 Sunday
January 2002 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 3rd ed
October 2001 Saturday
May 2001 Saturday
May 2001 Sunday
Jan 2001 Saturday
Oct 2000 Saturday in taking the SAT 2002-03
May 2000 Saturday
May 2000 Sunday in 10 Real SATs 2nd ed.
Jan 2000 Saturday in 10 Real SATs 2nd ed.
May 1999 Saturday
May 1999 Sunday
Jan 1999 Saturday
Oct 1998 Saturday
May 1998 Saturday
Nov 1997 Saturday
*** Can you tell me what address to send the request to?
The College Board
SAT Department-Disclosed Tests
45 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY 10023-6992
*** Can you tell me how much they cost?
Four (4) dollars each and that includes shipping charges WORLDWIDE.
*** Can you tell me if they take credit cards or paypal?
No, they only accept checks. The check must be payable to The College Board.
*** Can you tell me if I need to call and get an email first?
No, that was in the beginning when we had to obtain verification. Rest assured that the service exists and that the list will stay current until the end of the year
*** Is there a "person-in-charge" at the College Board? I have emailed and talked to Jhonny St.Victor. But again, I would simply send my order in and attach the check.
*** Can you tell me if I need to buy them all?
No, order what you need. There is no minimum order. Also, check the list for some tests that ARE already in the various 10Real Sats or available online. The link to May 2002 Saturday and October 2001:
http://www.collegeboard.com/sat/html/may2002/test_sections.html
*** Can you tell me if I should call them first?
You can call them as much as your heart desires. The phone number is 212-713-8097 and the operator is 212-713-8000. However, it is an expensive and unnecessary step. Use the list and write a simple order.
*** Can you tell me if they have SAT II?
Nope! They do not have SAT-II tests.
*** Can you tell me if they have PSAT Tests?
The PSAT tests are sold by ETS. Call 609-771-7243 and ask for PSAT Disclosed Tests. They cost $3.00 a piece with free mailing. ETS does accept phone orders and accept credit cards. For faster service, you can ask them to FedEx your order, but it will cost you 20 buckaroos! THey will confirm what tests are available when placing your order. It seems that they have the last 6 PSAT tests.
*** Can you tell me how long it takes to get them?
About 10 days in US - 20 days overseas due to the snail mail process.
*** Can you tell me how they ship?
They stick the tests in a big brown envelope and send it regular mail.
*** Can you tell me if they come with an answer key?
Yes, it is same format as 10RS books. Answers and difficulty levels are provided but NO explanations.
*** Can you tell me what my letter/order form should say?
Here is the letter that I used months ago. Just make the changes for number of tests and amount of checks.
Your name
Your address
Your city
The College Board
SAT Department-Disclosed Tests
45 Columbus Avenue
New York, NY 10023-6992
Ladies and Gentlemen:
Here is a list of disclosed tests I would like to purchase.
1. January 2003 Saturday
2. October 2002 Saturday
3. May 2002 Sunday
4. May 2001 Saturday
5. May 2001 Sunday
6. Jan 2001 Saturday
7. May 2000 Saturday
8. May 1999 Saturday
9. May 1999 Sunday
10. Jan 1999 Saturday
11. Oct 1998 Saturday
12. May 1998 Saturday
13. Nov 1997 Saturday
I understand that there is a $4.00 fee per test ordered (includes shipping and handling). Accordingly I enclose a check made out to The College Board for $52.00. Please mail my order to Xiggi, 5 Analogy Lane, Satville, CB, 00007. If you have any questions regarding this order, please contact me at Xiggi@aol.com or at 1-800-SAT-GURU.
Sincerely,
Xiggi
That's it, folks!
By Xiggi (Xiggi) on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 08:47 pm: Edit
up you go
By Jje (Jje) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 07:10 pm: Edit
if anyone is wondering i order the following tests on sept 22
1. January 2003 Saturday
2. October 2002 Saturday
3. May 2002 Sunday
4. May 2001 Saturday
5. May 2001 Sunday
6. Jan 2001 Saturday
7. May 2000 Saturday
8. May 1999 Saturday
9. May 1999 Sunday
10. Jan 1999 Saturday
they shipped on the 26 and arrived in PA on 29, all came except october 2002 sat
By Xiggi (Xiggi) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 07:52 pm: Edit
I ordered a few PSAT tests and they shipped the same day I ordered. I received them in 3 days.
It seems that the service works pretty well.
By Wjk323 (Wjk323) on Monday, September 29, 2003 - 08:01 pm: Edit
Man...i wish i can order some SAT II's though...
=(
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Vocabulary Self-Check:
Can you {verb} something?
Can you think of any prepositions to use with this verb?
Is this verb positive, negative, or neutral?
What are some synonyms for this verb?
How do you think this word is this word different from its synonyms?
Write three practice sentences for this verb at least 15 words long.
Can you {verb} something?
Can you think of any prepositions to use with this verb?
Is this verb positive, negative, or neutral?
What are some synonyms for this verb?
How do you think this word is this word different from its synonyms?
Write three practice sentences for this verb at least 15 words long.
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Well, fortunately, I think I am finally done with a real (sort of) first draft of the first chunk of Beowulf. But now I am a little scared in that my "reference points are dated," as Prof. Watson said. Nonetheless. How does one write a new historical version of Beowulf when we know so little of the history? Or a cultural studies version? I think we don't. At least it would take someone more inventive than I am to pull it off.
Here is what I think I have come up with:
Get rid of all the bs that overstates the role of the sublime. Pull the sublime in under an umbrella: the ecstatic, the sublime, and the uncanny. Oppose it to beauty along with images of barrenness. Learn more about liminality and bring it in.
Cut length by 20%. Make claims 20% more conservative.
Here is what I think I have come up with:
Get rid of all the bs that overstates the role of the sublime. Pull the sublime in under an umbrella: the ecstatic, the sublime, and the uncanny. Oppose it to beauty along with images of barrenness. Learn more about liminality and bring it in.
Cut length by 20%. Make claims 20% more conservative.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Most Common Prepositions (http://www.comp.lancs.ac.uk/ucrel/bncfreq/lists/5_8_all_rank_preposition.txt)
of 29391
in 18214
to 9343
for 8412
with 6575
on 6475
by 5096
at 4790
from 4134
as 1774
into 1634
about 1524
like 1064
after 927
between 903
through 743
over 735
against 562
under 553
out_of 491
without 456
within 449
during 440
before 434
such_as 321
towards 286
around 237
upon 234
including 230
among 229
across 217
off 214
behind 202
since 178
because_of 178
as_well_as 176
rather_than 169
until 167
according_to 157
up_to 152
despite 146
near 138
above 137
per 135
along 123
away_from 120
throughout 116
outside 116
round 115
beyond 105
worth 102
in_terms_of 102
down 98
on_to 92
up 83
due_to 78
inside 74
as_to 73
instead_of 72
plus 70
past 67
in_front_of 66
apart_from 65
onto 62
beside 58
below 55
v. 54
subject_to 51
along_with 51
beneath 48
in_relation_to 46
amongst 45
via 45
other_than 43
unlike 40
in_favour_of 36
in_addition_to 34
v 32
prior_to 31
concerning 31
next_to 30
except 30
alongside 29
in_respect_of 29
in_spite_of 28
till 28
on_behalf_of 27
aged 27
ahead_of 26
on_top_of 26
as_for 25
depending_on 23
but 22
regarding 20
in_accordance_with 20
except_for 20
in_response_to 20
in_the_light_of 18
as_opposed_to 17
in_charge_of 17
with_regard_to 17
× 16
by_means_of 16
in_connection_with 16
on_the_part_of 15
in_view_of 15
by_way_of 14
contrary_to 13
with_respect_to 13
let_alone 13
in_touch_with 13
minus 13
toward 13
in_conjunction_with 13
in_line_with 12
opposite 12
following 12
amid 11
in_support_of 11
in_search_of 10
underneath 10
relative_to 10
of 29391
in 18214
to 9343
for 8412
with 6575
on 6475
by 5096
at 4790
from 4134
as 1774
into 1634
about 1524
like 1064
after 927
between 903
through 743
over 735
against 562
under 553
out_of 491
without 456
within 449
during 440
before 434
such_as 321
towards 286
around 237
upon 234
including 230
among 229
across 217
off 214
behind 202
since 178
because_of 178
as_well_as 176
rather_than 169
until 167
according_to 157
up_to 152
despite 146
near 138
above 137
per 135
along 123
away_from 120
throughout 116
outside 116
round 115
beyond 105
worth 102
in_terms_of 102
down 98
on_to 92
up 83
due_to 78
inside 74
as_to 73
instead_of 72
plus 70
past 67
in_front_of 66
apart_from 65
onto 62
beside 58
below 55
v. 54
subject_to 51
along_with 51
beneath 48
in_relation_to 46
amongst 45
via 45
other_than 43
unlike 40
in_favour_of 36
in_addition_to 34
v 32
prior_to 31
concerning 31
next_to 30
except 30
alongside 29
in_respect_of 29
in_spite_of 28
till 28
on_behalf_of 27
aged 27
ahead_of 26
on_top_of 26
as_for 25
depending_on 23
but 22
regarding 20
in_accordance_with 20
except_for 20
in_response_to 20
in_the_light_of 18
as_opposed_to 17
in_charge_of 17
with_regard_to 17
× 16
by_means_of 16
in_connection_with 16
on_the_part_of 15
in_view_of 15
by_way_of 14
contrary_to 13
with_respect_to 13
let_alone 13
in_touch_with 13
minus 13
toward 13
in_conjunction_with 13
in_line_with 12
opposite 12
following 12
amid 11
in_support_of 11
in_search_of 10
underneath 10
relative_to 10
What did I like about those writing pages that I feel will be so difficult to replicate?
First of all, I was writing it without thinking about the best practices stuff I just read, which makes it more valuable to me.
Second of all, I feel like the section on how-to-screw-this-up was accurate, complete, and pretty good in general.
Third, I feel like the bullet lists were pretty good.
What do I remember?
*split between flood and scaffolding
*flood: at the appropriate level; maintain momentum; two books a week or so
*constituent skills: breaking down correctly
*drilling based on frequency
*drilling to achieve automaticity
How to screw it up:
*Lose momentum.
*Fail to check homework.
*Fail to discriminate between high- and low-frequency items.
*Expect the student to read at his or her target level instead of his or her instructional level.
*Fail to commit. Switch strategies a lot.
*Change strategies every three weeks because you lack the materials to sustain your original plan.
*Teach constituent skills to the point of mere comprehension rather than automaticity.
*Never ask the student to perform tasks independently. Always model and instruct; allow student to follow passively rather than taking responsibility for complex performance.
*Always ask the student to perform tasks independently. Never model or instruct; expect student to manage complex performance immediately after mastering constituent skill.
*Do all your reading instruction after the student reads--in the form of problem sets and discussion of problem sets *following* the passage--instead of while the student reads.
*Underemphasize rote.
*Overemphasize rote.
*Assign too little homework.
*Use inauthentic material in the "flood" portion of your plan.
*Have no plan to enforce homework.
The trick:
Embark on a book flood, and sustain momentum. Track homework and communicate with parents.
Correctly identify the constituent skills you must teach. Identify the high-frequency items within these skills. Drill these items to the point of automaticity. Each of these steps--one, two, three--is important.
First of all, I was writing it without thinking about the best practices stuff I just read, which makes it more valuable to me.
Second of all, I feel like the section on how-to-screw-this-up was accurate, complete, and pretty good in general.
Third, I feel like the bullet lists were pretty good.
What do I remember?
*split between flood and scaffolding
*flood: at the appropriate level; maintain momentum; two books a week or so
*constituent skills: breaking down correctly
*drilling based on frequency
*drilling to achieve automaticity
How to screw it up:
*Lose momentum.
*Fail to check homework.
*Fail to discriminate between high- and low-frequency items.
*Expect the student to read at his or her target level instead of his or her instructional level.
*Fail to commit. Switch strategies a lot.
*Change strategies every three weeks because you lack the materials to sustain your original plan.
*Teach constituent skills to the point of mere comprehension rather than automaticity.
*Never ask the student to perform tasks independently. Always model and instruct; allow student to follow passively rather than taking responsibility for complex performance.
*Always ask the student to perform tasks independently. Never model or instruct; expect student to manage complex performance immediately after mastering constituent skill.
*Do all your reading instruction after the student reads--in the form of problem sets and discussion of problem sets *following* the passage--instead of while the student reads.
*Underemphasize rote.
*Overemphasize rote.
*Assign too little homework.
*Use inauthentic material in the "flood" portion of your plan.
*Have no plan to enforce homework.
The trick:
Embark on a book flood, and sustain momentum. Track homework and communicate with parents.
Correctly identify the constituent skills you must teach. Identify the high-frequency items within these skills. Drill these items to the point of automaticity. Each of these steps--one, two, three--is important.
Beowulf is making me a little crazy too. I would prefer to be working on this paper more joyfully. What am I so scared of, after all? That it will be great? That it will not be great? That I will not be done with it?
I think that I have solved the solution to the problem of the two kinds of the sublime, maybe, by. . .
1) suggesting as I already have that in longer laments, the sublime is sometimes suppressed from the surface of the text only to emerge at the level of figuration and rhetoric;
2) moving most of my discussion of the sublime to the explicitly OE chunks of the discussion.
That will be okay.
I think that I have solved the solution to the problem of the two kinds of the sublime, maybe, by. . .
1) suggesting as I already have that in longer laments, the sublime is sometimes suppressed from the surface of the text only to emerge at the level of figuration and rhetoric;
2) moving most of my discussion of the sublime to the explicitly OE chunks of the discussion.
That will be okay.
It's 2:48 Mountain time and I can't sleep.
I thought that the not-sleeping was about my bills, so I paid them, at least the scary ones: AmEx, AES. But now I am still stressed. I don't know if it's the heat bill or what. I can't pay the heat bill right now, which is extremely scary. Even though it's June. I hope I get a check within the first week or so that I'm back in Boston, and that I get my charge card.
I don't think that the heat is about to be cut off. If I am careful I should be okay. I have to call Cynthia and pay her, though.
I can't believe that this whole credit card thing happened in the first place.
I thought that the not-sleeping was about my bills, so I paid them, at least the scary ones: AmEx, AES. But now I am still stressed. I don't know if it's the heat bill or what. I can't pay the heat bill right now, which is extremely scary. Even though it's June. I hope I get a check within the first week or so that I'm back in Boston, and that I get my charge card.
I don't think that the heat is about to be cut off. If I am careful I should be okay. I have to call Cynthia and pay her, though.
I can't believe that this whole credit card thing happened in the first place.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Thursday, May 31, 2007
I had a good class just now with Yeunsu. I feel that she has learned a lot.
Students in the 500s are still "putting the passage together," I learned. I also learned that the best way to help these kids with the passage is often to ask them to find and paraphrase the main idea in the paragraph, then to find and paraphrase the main idea of each supporting paragraph (almost always the first sentence), and then to discuss how each sentence of the supporting paragraph relates to the main idea. Ask "why" several times (the old Toyota rule). Correct their comprehension as they go along. As you do this, begin to work on the old hypernym/hyponym idea. If you can, copy some stuff from the More Reading Power book and use it to help them understand macro organization.
400s: Mastering the Topic
500s: Mastering the Main Idea (Arguing For)
600s: Mastering the Main Idea (Arguing Against)
700s: Mastering Subordinate Information
Here are Yeunsu's steps:
Reading:
1) Find the main idea in the first paragraph.
2) As you read, make sure you understand how the main idea (pretty much always the first sentence) of each supporting paragraph connects to the main idea of the first paragraph.
3) Use the first sentence of each paragraph to help you read actively. Ask yourself how each supporting sentence relates to the main idea sentence.
Questions:
1) Find the *reference* in the passage. Remember: it may be a treasure hunt!
2) Make sure you understand how the reference connects to the main idea (first line) of the paragraph.
3) Thinking critically about paraphrases (hypo/hypernyms), eliminate answer choices. Remember: don't eliminate whole answer choices; eliminate words.
I would also like to do a section on comparison/contrast, cause-and-effect, etc.
The Norton Reader is super-powerful for SAT prep.
Students in the 500s are still "putting the passage together," I learned. I also learned that the best way to help these kids with the passage is often to ask them to find and paraphrase the main idea in the paragraph, then to find and paraphrase the main idea of each supporting paragraph (almost always the first sentence), and then to discuss how each sentence of the supporting paragraph relates to the main idea. Ask "why" several times (the old Toyota rule). Correct their comprehension as they go along. As you do this, begin to work on the old hypernym/hyponym idea. If you can, copy some stuff from the More Reading Power book and use it to help them understand macro organization.
400s: Mastering the Topic
500s: Mastering the Main Idea (Arguing For)
600s: Mastering the Main Idea (Arguing Against)
700s: Mastering Subordinate Information
Here are Yeunsu's steps:
Reading:
1) Find the main idea in the first paragraph.
2) As you read, make sure you understand how the main idea (pretty much always the first sentence) of each supporting paragraph connects to the main idea of the first paragraph.
3) Use the first sentence of each paragraph to help you read actively. Ask yourself how each supporting sentence relates to the main idea sentence.
Questions:
1) Find the *reference* in the passage. Remember: it may be a treasure hunt!
2) Make sure you understand how the reference connects to the main idea (first line) of the paragraph.
3) Thinking critically about paraphrases (hypo/hypernyms), eliminate answer choices. Remember: don't eliminate whole answer choices; eliminate words.
I would also like to do a section on comparison/contrast, cause-and-effect, etc.
The Norton Reader is super-powerful for SAT prep.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
It's 4:38 on Weds., May 30.
It looks like I am going to have to finish this Beowulf paper on my days off, which is disappointing. I wanted to work on my own books and business on my day off. But this world is not a perfect one.
I learned quite a bit this semester, I guess. Mostly I learned that I have to continue to address my weaknesses, and that my weaknesses are not gone.
It looks like I am going to have to finish this Beowulf paper on my days off, which is disappointing. I wanted to work on my own books and business on my day off. But this world is not a perfect one.
I learned quite a bit this semester, I guess. Mostly I learned that I have to continue to address my weaknesses, and that my weaknesses are not gone.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
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Friday, May 25, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
If I had a regular teacher forum, here's what I would say:
We need to be blessing and encouraging children to start seeking out authors they love, developing tastes and passions, likes and even dislikes.
a) We need to have students do a Book Browsing Journal, in which they look at 20 books they *might* like, and then answer questions about it based on their research: reading 3-5 pages (either on Amazon or in bookstores), looking at other people's recommendations, comparing it to past purchases, etc. We should encourage students to both approve and reject books, and to emphasize that everyone should *look at* or *browse* more books than they choose to read. From this journal should come book choices. (We could have book allowance cards from here.) We should also recommend books.
Model your own love of reading! If you love reading, let it show! Talk about your favorite books, your favorite books as a child, etc., and bring the student alongside you.
We need to be blessing and encouraging children to start seeking out authors they love, developing tastes and passions, likes and even dislikes.
a) We need to have students do a Book Browsing Journal, in which they look at 20 books they *might* like, and then answer questions about it based on their research: reading 3-5 pages (either on Amazon or in bookstores), looking at other people's recommendations, comparing it to past purchases, etc. We should encourage students to both approve and reject books, and to emphasize that everyone should *look at* or *browse* more books than they choose to read. From this journal should come book choices. (We could have book allowance cards from here.) We should also recommend books.
Model your own love of reading! If you love reading, let it show! Talk about your favorite books, your favorite books as a child, etc., and bring the student alongside you.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
I am *exhausted* and I don't know why. I feel like I'm going to fall asleep. Right here.
What am I trying to say about early humanism and subjectivity?
So maybe I need to drop the distinction about interiority. . . although, if helpful, I could substitute a distinction between public and private. That might be less crazy-making.
Damn, I want a dessert or something.
Okay. So the thing is. What.
That Butler is talking, not only about homosexuality and theories thereof, but also--even primarily--about gender and ideology. And these two general categories of thought, or stuff, are profoundly important within the Middle Ages, particularly as they pertain to women. More particularly, Butler's conception of performativity (gender performativity in particular) corresponds to, or is based on, Althusser's conception of ideology (as the individual's imaginative relation to the real).
All of this is relevant to the immense problem of women and Chaucer, and more specifically the question of Chaucer's feminist, antifeminist, or quasifeminist authorial perspective, in that it provides us with a manner of thinking about some of Chaucer's unsavory or un-ideal female characters--in particular the Wife of Bath--in a manner that recognizes both their stereotypical qualities (in particular those stereotypical qualities that they have invented themselves) and also their obvious contestation or subversion of male power structures. In other words, they are doing both things at once--establishing a place for themselves in male power structures and "acting out" misogynistic stereotypes (a.k.a. gender norms)--and this simultaneity is exactly what Butler's theory of gender performativity would lead us to expect.
What am I trying to say about early humanism and subjectivity?
So maybe I need to drop the distinction about interiority. . . although, if helpful, I could substitute a distinction between public and private. That might be less crazy-making.
Damn, I want a dessert or something.
Okay. So the thing is. What.
That Butler is talking, not only about homosexuality and theories thereof, but also--even primarily--about gender and ideology. And these two general categories of thought, or stuff, are profoundly important within the Middle Ages, particularly as they pertain to women. More particularly, Butler's conception of performativity (gender performativity in particular) corresponds to, or is based on, Althusser's conception of ideology (as the individual's imaginative relation to the real).
All of this is relevant to the immense problem of women and Chaucer, and more specifically the question of Chaucer's feminist, antifeminist, or quasifeminist authorial perspective, in that it provides us with a manner of thinking about some of Chaucer's unsavory or un-ideal female characters--in particular the Wife of Bath--in a manner that recognizes both their stereotypical qualities (in particular those stereotypical qualities that they have invented themselves) and also their obvious contestation or subversion of male power structures. In other words, they are doing both things at once--establishing a place for themselves in male power structures and "acting out" misogynistic stereotypes (a.k.a. gender norms)--and this simultaneity is exactly what Butler's theory of gender performativity would lead us to expect.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
And here's his clarification. . .
This kid is good.
>>You should have asked earlier, for I can answer that question easily. =)
I mean, the specific lines are referred in question, for example, like "line number 25-27."
If you know this, then you can find what to rephrase, though there is already rephrases in question.
For instance, there's a sentence like "apes are similar to human beings,"
then, you could find wrong answers like "apes are similar in appearance with human beings," "apes could build up intellectual ability like human beings do."
The right rephrased one will be just like this. "Apes have similarity with human beings"(though, I did not use any specific terms of similarity).
So, the pattern is simple, the sentence that CB would like to rephrase as an answer will be in the referred line or referred passage.
I cannot tell you how to find the will-be rephrased one, because the CR section is very flexible in this matter. You sometimes have to find rephrasing of two passages or one short sentence, or even three passages(when you have to find the answer for three passage, the answer might be broad one,,,)
If you have another questions out of reading this answer, just ask, I will elaborate on them..
This kid is good.
>>You should have asked earlier, for I can answer that question easily. =)
I mean, the specific lines are referred in question, for example, like "line number 25-27."
If you know this, then you can find what to rephrase, though there is already rephrases in question.
For instance, there's a sentence like "apes are similar to human beings,"
then, you could find wrong answers like "apes are similar in appearance with human beings," "apes could build up intellectual ability like human beings do."
The right rephrased one will be just like this. "Apes have similarity with human beings"(though, I did not use any specific terms of similarity).
So, the pattern is simple, the sentence that CB would like to rephrase as an answer will be in the referred line or referred passage.
I cannot tell you how to find the will-be rephrased one, because the CR section is very flexible in this matter. You sometimes have to find rephrasing of two passages or one short sentence, or even three passages(when you have to find the answer for three passage, the answer might be broad one,,,)
If you have another questions out of reading this answer, just ask, I will elaborate on them..
From College Board: a strange, semi-coherent, but possibly very useful post. . .
Sorry, I don't think you have not known what pattern is.
The format of the test means "LOOKING FOR THE PATTERN"
what that means you should be able to find a pattern for questions.
You should memorize the words a lot, as naidu90 said.
For specific questions, you should find for rephrasing
For main topic one, you should find for wishy washy answer
For vocab one, you should treat like it as a sentence completion
For inference question, it is similar to the specific one. Yet, sometimes, all my methods do not work for this question type. So, you have to be careful..
Give a break for your mind while taking a test. Well, think of this kind of thinking.
"Well, I can give it another shot."
When I felt this feeling at test center after section 2(which is hard cr section), I changed my mind into happy one. And suddenly Bam!!
all questions seem to be made up by formats, and I know I've got all other cr sections including experimental sections right, not missing a single one to go.
Give it a try for a bit, and take your mind at ease. Then, You will feel this CR is nothing after all..
Sorry, I don't think you have not known what pattern is.
The format of the test means "LOOKING FOR THE PATTERN"
what that means you should be able to find a pattern for questions.
You should memorize the words a lot, as naidu90 said.
For specific questions, you should find for rephrasing
For main topic one, you should find for wishy washy answer
For vocab one, you should treat like it as a sentence completion
For inference question, it is similar to the specific one. Yet, sometimes, all my methods do not work for this question type. So, you have to be careful..
Give a break for your mind while taking a test. Well, think of this kind of thinking.
"Well, I can give it another shot."
When I felt this feeling at test center after section 2(which is hard cr section), I changed my mind into happy one. And suddenly Bam!!
all questions seem to be made up by formats, and I know I've got all other cr sections including experimental sections right, not missing a single one to go.
Give it a try for a bit, and take your mind at ease. Then, You will feel this CR is nothing after all..
PLACES I STUDY WELL/HAVE STUDIED WELL:
The Starbucks on Harvard St.
Peet's in Evanston
Peet's in Cambridge, MA
Coolidge Corner bar
Pizzeria Uno's
(work)
Lamont
the computer lab in Andover
the cafeteria in Winthrop
my desk (when other people are not home)
PLACES I DO NOT STUDY WELL:
my bedroom
my living room (when other people are in it)
my apartment (when everyone is home at night)
Uno's basement (when it is noisy)
The Starbucks on Harvard St.
Peet's in Evanston
Peet's in Cambridge, MA
Coolidge Corner bar
Pizzeria Uno's
(work)
Lamont
the computer lab in Andover
the cafeteria in Winthrop
my desk (when other people are not home)
PLACES I DO NOT STUDY WELL:
my bedroom
my living room (when other people are in it)
my apartment (when everyone is home at night)
Uno's basement (when it is noisy)
My current restaurant/bar habit is standing in the way of my dreams.
I spent somewhere between $50 and $70 yesterday on eating out, coffee, beer, and Internet access outside my house.
I would be really embarrassed if my parents knew that.
At the same time, I don't know exactly what I could or should have done differently. Esther's family had come to town and so our apartment was totally full of people, and I had to study. I could have gone to Peet's instead of Starbucks, because Peet's has Internet access. . . I guess that would have saved me $12. But it also would have cost me 30-45 minutes of study time.
I think the solution for me is to set myself up so that I don't have the money available to waste.
I spent somewhere between $50 and $70 yesterday on eating out, coffee, beer, and Internet access outside my house.
I would be really embarrassed if my parents knew that.
At the same time, I don't know exactly what I could or should have done differently. Esther's family had come to town and so our apartment was totally full of people, and I had to study. I could have gone to Peet's instead of Starbucks, because Peet's has Internet access. . . I guess that would have saved me $12. But it also would have cost me 30-45 minutes of study time.
I think the solution for me is to set myself up so that I don't have the money available to waste.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Today, we live in a world that tolerates extreme poverty much like racism was tolerated fifty-plus years ago.
Commit. Resist the temptation of the marketing idea of the week. Create daily, weekly, monthly, and annual marketing calendars, make marketing your new habit, and find the money to stick with the plan.
Commit. Resist the temptation of the marketing idea of the week. Create daily, weekly, monthly, and annual marketing calendars, make marketing your new habit, and find the money to stick with the plan.
A few important things:
1) Start with an exhaustive analysis of everything on the market, including everything designed for the test and everything you can think of that might be relevant even though it was designed for a different purpose. Cobble together a best-of packet and make sure it includes everything a kid needs to know. Put it in a rational order: i.e., the order that you would most like to use it in, the order that would make your student feel comfortable and confident if you got hit by a bus and the kid had to follow the order of concepts completely on his own. Consider *both* how skills build and how concepts build. Plan by priority, not by some fantasy of comprehensiveness. Remember that frequency of concepts is hyperbolic, not linear.
2) Think about the ladder of mastery. Automaticity, automaticity, automaticity, automaticity. . .
3) Think about constitutent and complex skills.
4) Think about realistic practice.
1) Start with an exhaustive analysis of everything on the market, including everything designed for the test and everything you can think of that might be relevant even though it was designed for a different purpose. Cobble together a best-of packet and make sure it includes everything a kid needs to know. Put it in a rational order: i.e., the order that you would most like to use it in, the order that would make your student feel comfortable and confident if you got hit by a bus and the kid had to follow the order of concepts completely on his own. Consider *both* how skills build and how concepts build. Plan by priority, not by some fantasy of comprehensiveness. Remember that frequency of concepts is hyperbolic, not linear.
2) Think about the ladder of mastery. Automaticity, automaticity, automaticity, automaticity. . .
3) Think about constitutent and complex skills.
4) Think about realistic practice.
I wonder whether Allen would be interested in writing a math component of the SSAT series. I wonder how I could set that up in a way that would be useful and helpful to him, guide him through the iterative part, and also come out the other side with a strong product. I wonder if I could use it to teach him how to design curricula and make larger education decisions. I wonder how it would be best to reimburse him.
a) the case study: MJ and HS
Somewhat controlling, somewhat perfectionistic; prone to paralysis or procrastination; may be uncomfortable working independently; may be prone to blaming others. . . will fail to do their homework for whatever reason, and then, when your class plan falls through because they are not prepared, will try to take over the class. Class will become extremely difficult and slow-paced; may grind to a halt, student may be resistant. You may feel blamed for the pace of the course.
The trick is to hand the student the ball. Make sure he or she is confronted with how little homework he or she is doing. Have a good plan and ensure that the student follows it. Do not allow him or her to take over; he or she does not actually know how to manage the class, and will become more frustrated rather than less frustrated with time.
Somewhat controlling, somewhat perfectionistic; prone to paralysis or procrastination; may be uncomfortable working independently; may be prone to blaming others. . . will fail to do their homework for whatever reason, and then, when your class plan falls through because they are not prepared, will try to take over the class. Class will become extremely difficult and slow-paced; may grind to a halt, student may be resistant. You may feel blamed for the pace of the course.
The trick is to hand the student the ball. Make sure he or she is confronted with how little homework he or she is doing. Have a good plan and ensure that the student follows it. Do not allow him or her to take over; he or she does not actually know how to manage the class, and will become more frustrated rather than less frustrated with time.
Monday, May 14, 2007
What I should have done differently this semester:
During the first two weeks of class, getting organized, registered, and physically equipped for class should have been a full-time job, and it involved a lot more work than I realized it would. It is usually not seamless.
I should have a) registered and applied for everything on time;
b) made a request of Prof. Kienzle for some kind of syllabus or something for the reserve book, or asked if I could put it together myself.
In courses where not all materials are available at the beginning of the semester, it's important for me to negotiate that and work with the professors or whatever in order to get my hands on them anyway, even if it's a lot of extra work. Then, if the materials are incomplete, at least I can add them after the fact. Better that, than to have nothing assumbled.
During the first two weeks of class, getting organized, registered, and physically equipped for class should have been a full-time job, and it involved a lot more work than I realized it would. It is usually not seamless.
I should have a) registered and applied for everything on time;
b) made a request of Prof. Kienzle for some kind of syllabus or something for the reserve book, or asked if I could put it together myself.
In courses where not all materials are available at the beginning of the semester, it's important for me to negotiate that and work with the professors or whatever in order to get my hands on them anyway, even if it's a lot of extra work. Then, if the materials are incomplete, at least I can add them after the fact. Better that, than to have nothing assumbled.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Notes
[1] One valuable thing you tend to get only in startups is uninterruptability. Different kinds of work have different time quanta. Someone proofreading a manuscript could probably be interrupted every fifteen minutes with little loss of productivity. But the time quantum for hacking is very long: it might take an hour just to load a problem into your head. So the cost of having someone from personnel call you about a form you forgot to fill out can be huge.
This is why hackers give you such a baleful stare as they turn from their screen to answer your question. Inside their heads a giant house of cards is tottering.
The mere possibility of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects. This is why they tend to work late at night, and why it's next to impossible to write great software in a cubicle (except late at night).
One great advantage of startups is that they don't yet have any of the people who interrupt you. There is no personnel department, and thus no form nor anyone to call you about it.
[1] One valuable thing you tend to get only in startups is uninterruptability. Different kinds of work have different time quanta. Someone proofreading a manuscript could probably be interrupted every fifteen minutes with little loss of productivity. But the time quantum for hacking is very long: it might take an hour just to load a problem into your head. So the cost of having someone from personnel call you about a form you forgot to fill out can be huge.
This is why hackers give you such a baleful stare as they turn from their screen to answer your question. Inside their heads a giant house of cards is tottering.
The mere possibility of being interrupted deters hackers from starting hard projects. This is why they tend to work late at night, and why it's next to impossible to write great software in a cubicle (except late at night).
One great advantage of startups is that they don't yet have any of the people who interrupt you. There is no personnel department, and thus no form nor anyone to call you about it.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Now it is 5:35 a.m. and I still can't sleep. Why can't I sleep?
Here is what I learned and what I think about Freud:
1) Freud talks quite a bit about mastery--when he discusses separation, and then later, when he discusses trauma, which is in some ways even more interesting.
2) To Freud, it is clear that trauma and separation are both assaults on the self, or more precisely interruptions of the economy of narcissism that constitutes the subjectivity of the mature adult. Freud's mention of the ego as a "unity" is revealing and interesting here. Specifically, the ego-libido and the object-libido are conceived as fluid "chemical energies" (it seems probable that Freud expected these properties of psychology to be further clarified and developed by neuroscience, which he refers to as "psycho-physiology"). To Freud, the attachment to objects grows from the desire to be loved; in a "happy" love relationship, libido flows (in the form of energy) from the ego to the object and back in a form of sustaining economy. This ecosystem of ego-libido and object-libido constitutes the subjectivity of a mature adult.
The loss of a beloved object (which, significantly, to Freud is not merely caused by a death but also by the loss of a relationship) disrupts the unity of the ego (??) and requires the ego to perform the work of mastery, which usually takes the form of instructing the self (through a sort of obsessional rote repetition) in the reality or actuality of the loss. Freud uses the word "pain" to refer to this variety of loss, and suggests that loss is a source of pain because it is a violation of the borders of the self [is this bullshit????? double check].
Separation is not external to the self, even when it takes place in the physical environment that is external to the body of the bereaved. Rather, separation or loss is a breach in the unity that is the ego, because the attachments formed by an individual are not external to him or her but form part of the hard-won unity of the mature self. The loss of an attachment thus compromises the unity of the self and is experienced as a personal danger [again, bullshit?????? double check] which must be mastered.
emotions of anger and grief, . . . competing impulses toward protest and mastery (here, not mastery in the sense of consolation, but rather mastery in the sense of recognizing the loss as real, factual, actual, objective).
Question: how does all this relate to the sublime, *exactly*? How much is it wise or necessary to focus on the idea of separation as personal danger?
Maybe it would be more shrewd to emphasize that, to Freud, the boundaries of the "self" are not as simple as we might expect, but contain a whole economy of identification: with objects of attachment, with countries and places, etc. This would later allow for a more inclusive discussion of danger.
(Death as a loss of self, not a loss of life.) Significantly, although Freud does not *say* it, does he imply that the loss of the ego is potentially more devastating than the loss of life? Double check.
Here is what I learned and what I think about Freud:
1) Freud talks quite a bit about mastery--when he discusses separation, and then later, when he discusses trauma, which is in some ways even more interesting.
2) To Freud, it is clear that trauma and separation are both assaults on the self, or more precisely interruptions of the economy of narcissism that constitutes the subjectivity of the mature adult. Freud's mention of the ego as a "unity" is revealing and interesting here. Specifically, the ego-libido and the object-libido are conceived as fluid "chemical energies" (it seems probable that Freud expected these properties of psychology to be further clarified and developed by neuroscience, which he refers to as "psycho-physiology"). To Freud, the attachment to objects grows from the desire to be loved; in a "happy" love relationship, libido flows (in the form of energy) from the ego to the object and back in a form of sustaining economy. This ecosystem of ego-libido and object-libido constitutes the subjectivity of a mature adult.
The loss of a beloved object (which, significantly, to Freud is not merely caused by a death but also by the loss of a relationship) disrupts the unity of the ego (??) and requires the ego to perform the work of mastery, which usually takes the form of instructing the self (through a sort of obsessional rote repetition) in the reality or actuality of the loss. Freud uses the word "pain" to refer to this variety of loss, and suggests that loss is a source of pain because it is a violation of the borders of the self [is this bullshit????? double check].
Separation is not external to the self, even when it takes place in the physical environment that is external to the body of the bereaved. Rather, separation or loss is a breach in the unity that is the ego, because the attachments formed by an individual are not external to him or her but form part of the hard-won unity of the mature self. The loss of an attachment thus compromises the unity of the self and is experienced as a personal danger [again, bullshit?????? double check] which must be mastered.
emotions of anger and grief, . . . competing impulses toward protest and mastery (here, not mastery in the sense of consolation, but rather mastery in the sense of recognizing the loss as real, factual, actual, objective).
Question: how does all this relate to the sublime, *exactly*? How much is it wise or necessary to focus on the idea of separation as personal danger?
Maybe it would be more shrewd to emphasize that, to Freud, the boundaries of the "self" are not as simple as we might expect, but contain a whole economy of identification: with objects of attachment, with countries and places, etc. This would later allow for a more inclusive discussion of danger.
(Death as a loss of self, not a loss of life.) Significantly, although Freud does not *say* it, does he imply that the loss of the ego is potentially more devastating than the loss of life? Double check.
I have spent about $75 so far this week on eating out and drinking while I am studying.
I am getting quite a bit done. On the other hand, I feel that this is ridiculous.
I also feel--after praying about it--that I need to stop blaming myself so much.
It occurs to me as I lie awake here at 4:57 a.m. that I have given up a lifestyle I very much prefer in order to do this graduate student thing. It was nice to be making enough money, and have time to go to the gym, and feel that I was a respected person with a certain amount of authority. Now I am not respected as a student but I have no authority. I am a young person in the program, and I am getting my masters' degree. I am tired of feeling like my house is a mess and I am personally a mess. I want things to be normal and contained and controlled. I want things to be prettier. I want the time to be a girl and also the time to be a professional and I feel like I am 0 for 2 on that score.
I also feel like spending $30 a night on beer is setting back massively on both of those goals. I need to keep praying about that and find alternatives.
If all of my papers rock, however, and I get four A's this semester, it will have been worth it.
I am getting quite a bit done. On the other hand, I feel that this is ridiculous.
I also feel--after praying about it--that I need to stop blaming myself so much.
It occurs to me as I lie awake here at 4:57 a.m. that I have given up a lifestyle I very much prefer in order to do this graduate student thing. It was nice to be making enough money, and have time to go to the gym, and feel that I was a respected person with a certain amount of authority. Now I am not respected as a student but I have no authority. I am a young person in the program, and I am getting my masters' degree. I am tired of feeling like my house is a mess and I am personally a mess. I want things to be normal and contained and controlled. I want things to be prettier. I want the time to be a girl and also the time to be a professional and I feel like I am 0 for 2 on that score.
I also feel like spending $30 a night on beer is setting back massively on both of those goals. I need to keep praying about that and find alternatives.
If all of my papers rock, however, and I get four A's this semester, it will have been worth it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Would it be possible for me to really, truly avoid taking out any more debt? And still get done what I need to get done as a student?
If so, what would it look like?
I need to keep praying about my financial situation. I am about $1400 behind on my tithe, and I hate it. I want to pay my tithe.
I wish I could work more easily in my apartment. I wonder if there's a way to make that happen.
I also really, really want to get a substantial raise this summer. I hope it's realistic.
If so, what would it look like?
I need to keep praying about my financial situation. I am about $1400 behind on my tithe, and I hate it. I want to pay my tithe.
I wish I could work more easily in my apartment. I wonder if there's a way to make that happen.
I also really, really want to get a substantial raise this summer. I hope it's realistic.
I am so anxious about my American Express situation.
I have to deposit that check.
I also need to pay off $4500 this summer.
I have also taken out something like $13,000 in student loans for living expenses, in addition to my $10,000 in student loans for tuition.
That means I am now nearly $30,000 in debt after this year of school.
I don't regret it at all. But I do regret the parts of it that may have been unnecessary. I kind of feel like I am wasting about $1000 a month.
I can see that I do not really have a reason to be scared, because I can pay off at least $9000 of it this summer if I am disciplined, and then I hope I can work for about 15 months and pay off a big chunk of the rest of it. . . maybe close to all of it.
But I am not really living in accordance with my goals. This is not what I want to do with my money, spending $40 a day on eating out and other wasteful expenses. That's over $1000 a month. Think of what I could do with $1000 a month!
I want to feel a little bit more in control of my spending, and I think that means eating out less, maybe even not at all. I feel much better and more in control if I am not eating out at all. I wonder if I can make that an ongoing practice, and what it would look like.
I think I have been naive to assume that I could just decide to spend less money, and that it would be relatively easy compared to my other goal, which was making more money. I think I need to be realistic. . . that spending less money is a big project, one requiring many different skills and several months, or years, to learn. I need to keep at it. And that means continuing to work at not eating out, and continuing to work at recording my expenses.
I have to deposit that check.
I also need to pay off $4500 this summer.
I have also taken out something like $13,000 in student loans for living expenses, in addition to my $10,000 in student loans for tuition.
That means I am now nearly $30,000 in debt after this year of school.
I don't regret it at all. But I do regret the parts of it that may have been unnecessary. I kind of feel like I am wasting about $1000 a month.
I can see that I do not really have a reason to be scared, because I can pay off at least $9000 of it this summer if I am disciplined, and then I hope I can work for about 15 months and pay off a big chunk of the rest of it. . . maybe close to all of it.
But I am not really living in accordance with my goals. This is not what I want to do with my money, spending $40 a day on eating out and other wasteful expenses. That's over $1000 a month. Think of what I could do with $1000 a month!
I want to feel a little bit more in control of my spending, and I think that means eating out less, maybe even not at all. I feel much better and more in control if I am not eating out at all. I wonder if I can make that an ongoing practice, and what it would look like.
I think I have been naive to assume that I could just decide to spend less money, and that it would be relatively easy compared to my other goal, which was making more money. I think I need to be realistic. . . that spending less money is a big project, one requiring many different skills and several months, or years, to learn. I need to keep at it. And that means continuing to work at not eating out, and continuing to work at recording my expenses.
Also: Lucretia.
I managed to express my thoughts with some clarity today in class. That was good.
The first thing that matters: the visible/invisible distinction.
But I am not really super-interested in the discourse of the body. I am instead interested in the idea of imagining integrity: whether the boundaries of the self are imagined as being essentially physical or essentially otherwise, the idea of wholeness is still very much in play. In some way, trauma is by definition that which violates the integrity of the self (whether bodily or otherwise). That's the value of using Douglas' Purity and Danger in this paper.
I also realized in class today the possibility of a new way to read theodicy: namely, that the crucifixion and the doctrine of sanctification provided a model for suffering innocence.
I need to write up a comparison of Lavinia and Daphne. A lot could grow from those few pages.
One interesting idea: that the Ovidian metamorphoses contain two simultaneous readings, the melancholic and the elegiac. Perhaps these can be the two through lines for the argument. I wonder whether we can say that elegiac theodicies tend to fail? The Austin paper is a helpful one here as well, I expect.
I managed to express my thoughts with some clarity today in class. That was good.
The first thing that matters: the visible/invisible distinction.
But I am not really super-interested in the discourse of the body. I am instead interested in the idea of imagining integrity: whether the boundaries of the self are imagined as being essentially physical or essentially otherwise, the idea of wholeness is still very much in play. In some way, trauma is by definition that which violates the integrity of the self (whether bodily or otherwise). That's the value of using Douglas' Purity and Danger in this paper.
I also realized in class today the possibility of a new way to read theodicy: namely, that the crucifixion and the doctrine of sanctification provided a model for suffering innocence.
I need to write up a comparison of Lavinia and Daphne. A lot could grow from those few pages.
One interesting idea: that the Ovidian metamorphoses contain two simultaneous readings, the melancholic and the elegiac. Perhaps these can be the two through lines for the argument. I wonder whether we can say that elegiac theodicies tend to fail? The Austin paper is a helpful one here as well, I expect.
Okay. So maybe there is more than I thought that I can include. I can draw some solid through lines, and maybe get through it all pretty quickly. And it may be significant to *mention* trauma without relying on theorists such as DeCapra; I can talk about separation as essential (and Freudian) and introduce the idea of trauma as a subcategory. I could also add a footnote referring to the 20th century discussion of trauma. I can suggest, through that reading, that the genre of lament can be read both through and against the genre of elegy. I can also align those two generic categories with the aesthetic categories of the sublime and the beautiful, and show that this alignment is a reasonable one given the deep dichotomy underlying Burke's original distinction (namely, that the sublime is related to danger, while the beautiful is related to love). We could even say that, in psychoanalytical terms, the sublime is related to separation and separation anxiety, while the beautiful is related to attachment. As Sacks suggests, the project of elegy is fundamentally one of attachment or reattachment; as such, the aesthetic mode of the beautiful is natural to the genre. (I believe Klinck, or someone else--maybe Jose Mora??--implies a connection between elegy and the beautiful.) Conversely, the project of lamentation is to confront a loss, a separation, a threat to the integrity of the self; as such, the natural aesthetic mode of the lamentation is the sublime. After aligning, and demonstrating, these distinctions, I can bring up the Trauerspiel vs. tragedy distinction.
I really want this paper to be persuasive and craftsmanlike. I want it to have breadth, range, and discipline, and to show sensitivity to the type of argumentation that is most likely to be well-received. I want it to be persuasive, original, and non-trivial.
I really want this paper to be persuasive and craftsmanlike. I want it to have breadth, range, and discipline, and to show sensitivity to the type of argumentation that is most likely to be well-received. I want it to be persuasive, original, and non-trivial.
Well, it turns out that someone else has already made my lament/sublime argument. . . and a good part of my lament/elegy argument. That made me feel pretty disappointed. It's a very good article that this other person has written.
I guess the question for me now is what can I add to the discussion?
Partly, I suppose, I can structure my argument in a tighter and more comprehensive way, and in my own little way try to imitate Sacks' The English Elegy by a) taking a broader historical approach, from the Greek goos through the German baroque Trauerspiel and so on; b) drawing a tighter, clearer contrast between elegy and lamentation than Austin does; and c) introducing the element of psychoanalysis by discussing loss and separation. I may be flattering myself, but I think I have some chance of introducing breadth to Austin's treatment of the issue and making the comparison in a more complete and elegant way. Her article is elegant (and, I think, true) but it is somewhat historically limited, I think. One could treat the same issues with greater breadth and more incisive focus (both at once). I also think that elegy and the beautiful are fundamentally related, and I wonder if I could prove it.
Of course, once I get this on paper, I can do something new and exciting by applying it to Old English verse. . .
I wonder how new it really is to say that lament relates to the moment of loss or separation, while elegy relates to the work of mourning? I have not seen that before. . .
I guess the question for me now is what can I add to the discussion?
Partly, I suppose, I can structure my argument in a tighter and more comprehensive way, and in my own little way try to imitate Sacks' The English Elegy by a) taking a broader historical approach, from the Greek goos through the German baroque Trauerspiel and so on; b) drawing a tighter, clearer contrast between elegy and lamentation than Austin does; and c) introducing the element of psychoanalysis by discussing loss and separation. I may be flattering myself, but I think I have some chance of introducing breadth to Austin's treatment of the issue and making the comparison in a more complete and elegant way. Her article is elegant (and, I think, true) but it is somewhat historically limited, I think. One could treat the same issues with greater breadth and more incisive focus (both at once). I also think that elegy and the beautiful are fundamentally related, and I wonder if I could prove it.
Of course, once I get this on paper, I can do something new and exciting by applying it to Old English verse. . .
I wonder how new it really is to say that lament relates to the moment of loss or separation, while elegy relates to the work of mourning? I have not seen that before. . .
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
I think all of this irritation has unearthed a significant flaw in my argument so far:
1) I don't really have a clear-cut definition of trauma that extends beyond the idea of the initial event.
2) I guess we get into it a little bit with Freud, and separation, and so on.
This is a problem that I need to either solve or bracket. ):(
1) I don't really have a clear-cut definition of trauma that extends beyond the idea of the initial event.
2) I guess we get into it a little bit with Freud, and separation, and so on.
This is a problem that I need to either solve or bracket. ):(
necessary background knowledge:
a) the word trauma was first used to refer to psychological wounding in. . .
Sense of "psychic wound, unpleasant experience which causes abnormal stress" is implied in traumatic, in psychological jargon 1889. Traumatize in the psychological sense is attested from 1949.
"trauma." Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. 01 May. 2007..
If we are to look for trauma in earlier centuries, then, we cannot look merely for the term; we must identify its analogues, its symptoms, its manifestations; we must proceed on the basis of a clear-cut definition and read backwards.
Several possible approaches suggest themselves:
1) Some events are by nature traumatic. (Does anyone famous say this?) For instance, the experience of mutilation is probably traumatic by definition. Physical violation is traumatic.
Can we use the definition of the DSM-IV? or whatever it's called?
I like the definition cited earlier--i.e., that it must be shocking.
What does Freud say? that is relevant to *adult* trauma?
In any case, it seems like only an asshole would deny that rape is traumatic. . . if we are going to accept the notion of trauma at all. This is hardly an academic argument, but any meaningful basic notion of trauma--however we define it--is going to include Lucretia, especially considering her subsequent suicide. That is the important point: even given the absence of agreement about trauma, no matter who you believe, Lucretia clearly counts.
This totally circumstantial, external definition, however, is not really that important. We need to look beyond the event for a certain constellation of events or accrual of concepts with more historical resonance, that will enable us to read backwards.
One such understanding is the sublime.
Another is the impossibility of consolation.
The hell with all of this if you don't understand why.
I don't really know, or care, how this semester's theorists would define trauma backwards. (That's terrible. It's my failing, not a failing of the course.) Nonetheless. That's probably not even true, it's just that I can't remember.
The dilemma of speechlessness; the inability to tell the story; the problem of consolation (and the unconsolable).
Maybe it's smarter to just start with Lucretia and the event that surrounds her and forfingget about connecting it to DeCapra's theory of trauma.
It's not that I disagree with DeCapra et al. It's that I find many of these later theories to be too specific, i.e. related strictly to major 20th century atrocity, and I think there should be a better bridge from Freud (which is extremely universal and, in a sense, presumes that a certain degree of trauma inheres in human existence) and DeCapra (which assumes that trauma is an extreme anomaly on which only a few have license to speak.
a) the word trauma was first used to refer to psychological wounding in. . .
Sense of "psychic wound, unpleasant experience which causes abnormal stress" is implied in traumatic, in psychological jargon 1889. Traumatize in the psychological sense is attested from 1949.
"trauma." Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. 01 May. 2007.
If we are to look for trauma in earlier centuries, then, we cannot look merely for the term; we must identify its analogues, its symptoms, its manifestations; we must proceed on the basis of a clear-cut definition and read backwards.
Several possible approaches suggest themselves:
1) Some events are by nature traumatic. (Does anyone famous say this?) For instance, the experience of mutilation is probably traumatic by definition. Physical violation is traumatic.
Can we use the definition of the DSM-IV? or whatever it's called?
I like the definition cited earlier--i.e., that it must be shocking.
What does Freud say? that is relevant to *adult* trauma?
In any case, it seems like only an asshole would deny that rape is traumatic. . . if we are going to accept the notion of trauma at all. This is hardly an academic argument, but any meaningful basic notion of trauma--however we define it--is going to include Lucretia, especially considering her subsequent suicide. That is the important point: even given the absence of agreement about trauma, no matter who you believe, Lucretia clearly counts.
This totally circumstantial, external definition, however, is not really that important. We need to look beyond the event for a certain constellation of events or accrual of concepts with more historical resonance, that will enable us to read backwards.
One such understanding is the sublime.
Another is the impossibility of consolation.
The hell with all of this if you don't understand why.
I don't really know, or care, how this semester's theorists would define trauma backwards. (That's terrible. It's my failing, not a failing of the course.) Nonetheless. That's probably not even true, it's just that I can't remember.
The dilemma of speechlessness; the inability to tell the story; the problem of consolation (and the unconsolable).
Maybe it's smarter to just start with Lucretia and the event that surrounds her and forfingget about connecting it to DeCapra's theory of trauma.
It's not that I disagree with DeCapra et al. It's that I find many of these later theories to be too specific, i.e. related strictly to major 20th century atrocity, and I think there should be a better bridge from Freud (which is extremely universal and, in a sense, presumes that a certain degree of trauma inheres in human existence) and DeCapra (which assumes that trauma is an extreme anomaly on which only a few have license to speak.
Also. because her rape is clearly traumatic (if there is such a thing as a non-traumatic rape). She kills herself after all. This can actually be contrasted with accounts such as The Rape of the Sabine Women. She is a useful and appropriate topic because a) she is canonical and b) her status as a trauma survivor cannot be in doubt.
Why the f--- am I writing about Lucretia?
a) because she is raped.
b) because her rape is a symbolic rape of Rome (or so it has been argued). Either it is traumatic for Rome, or it acts as a harbinger of future trauma. In either case, it allows the Roman state to throw off the boundaries of its occupiers.
As such, the rape of Lucretia occurs at the nexus of both the public and the private, and thus the nexus of both structural and historical trauma (DeCapra?).
Also, focusing on the figure of Lucretia is important because Lucretia is canonical. Lucretia is therefore a sounder topic, from a strategic point of view, than, say, the virgin martyrs.
How the !@#$%^& am I going to write about this in 4 pages?!? I can barely spell the title of this paper in 4 pages. There is so much necessary background knowledge for people! Hello, hello, hello!
a) because she is raped.
b) because her rape is a symbolic rape of Rome (or so it has been argued). Either it is traumatic for Rome, or it acts as a harbinger of future trauma. In either case, it allows the Roman state to throw off the boundaries of its occupiers.
As such, the rape of Lucretia occurs at the nexus of both the public and the private, and thus the nexus of both structural and historical trauma (DeCapra?).
Also, focusing on the figure of Lucretia is important because Lucretia is canonical. Lucretia is therefore a sounder topic, from a strategic point of view, than, say, the virgin martyrs.
How the !@#$%^& am I going to write about this in 4 pages?!? I can barely spell the title of this paper in 4 pages. There is so much necessary background knowledge for people! Hello, hello, hello!
Why do I always feel so frustrated, angry, and resentful when I am beginning to write?
Here is what I want to say:
Hello, people!
OBVIOUSLY. Lucretia is traumatized. Hello. She is raped. Moreover, her sense of identity is so deeply violated that she commits suicide. However you want to define trauma--an encounter with death? (Lifton, I think you are too narrow. I think death is not *actually* the worst loss a person can suffer)--Lucretia has faced it. Can we talk about the loss of the self versus loss of life? I think we can. (Where was that anyway?) So Lucretia's sense of self has been completely compromised. Maybe or maybe not, she feels obligated to kill herself. Also, I think that we are somehow meant to see her suicide as an extension of her chastity.
Also. Peter Sacks, you are a genius. You are also a very kind man. I love your book The English Elegy, and I think it is far, far better than anything I have written or have ever hoped to write. At the same time. I think you only show us half of the truth about Ovid and all of his many, many, many rapes.
I think it's a little bit misleading for you to contrast Lucretia and Daphne in the way you do in your book. After all, your reading of Daphne is not actually a reading of Daphne, is it? No, it's a reading of Apollo, of his state of mind. It's important for you--in terms of how you use your reading of Freud--to create this contrast, and I think it works, if we are just contrasting the episodes. But the consolation found in the Daphne story is probably no consolation for Daphne. No; like Lavinia, Daphne cannot speak, Daphne loses her hands. The consolation in the Daphne story is a consolation for Apollo, it makes him less sad; and subsequently he is also to undergo a meaningful process of figuration that restores his narcissism (in a non-pathological way, as you suggest). Again, I have no real problem with this. And again, you are a genius to have drawn all these through-lines in the first place.
But I think it's important we see two experiences in the Daphne story--that of Apollo, which you already identified and traced so successfully; and that of Daphne, which you don't talk about at all (except--through analogy--by discussing Lucretia). After all, it's a little bit of a technicality in the Metamorphoses who gets raped and who doesn't, isn't it? They all end up undergoing the same process of transmutation--and while that transmutation may be the origin of figuration (and thus elegy, and in a valuable sense speech) for Apollo, it is the source of speech.less.ness for Daphne. Hello.
On my third beer, and in my current irritated state, I am a little bit irritated with everybody for not figuring this out. It seems like a lazy failure to confront misogyny. I think this is the beer.
Also, while I am bitching unreasonably about people who are actually very talented, very dedicated scholars and teachers--because I am angry about not getting my own thoughts into words--I am a little bit annoyed at the *choice* of clinical theory in this course. Why not Bowlby? Why this pseudo-clinical stuff? Why Caruth?
Caruth, I think you are really off-base. I think you need to spend more time in a clinical setting with people who are actually trauma survivors. I think your reading of trauma is overly literary, not to say fictionalized.
Here is what I want to say:
Hello, people!
OBVIOUSLY. Lucretia is traumatized. Hello. She is raped. Moreover, her sense of identity is so deeply violated that she commits suicide. However you want to define trauma--an encounter with death? (Lifton, I think you are too narrow. I think death is not *actually* the worst loss a person can suffer)--Lucretia has faced it. Can we talk about the loss of the self versus loss of life? I think we can. (Where was that anyway?) So Lucretia's sense of self has been completely compromised. Maybe or maybe not, she feels obligated to kill herself. Also, I think that we are somehow meant to see her suicide as an extension of her chastity.
Also. Peter Sacks, you are a genius. You are also a very kind man. I love your book The English Elegy, and I think it is far, far better than anything I have written or have ever hoped to write. At the same time. I think you only show us half of the truth about Ovid and all of his many, many, many rapes.
I think it's a little bit misleading for you to contrast Lucretia and Daphne in the way you do in your book. After all, your reading of Daphne is not actually a reading of Daphne, is it? No, it's a reading of Apollo, of his state of mind. It's important for you--in terms of how you use your reading of Freud--to create this contrast, and I think it works, if we are just contrasting the episodes. But the consolation found in the Daphne story is probably no consolation for Daphne. No; like Lavinia, Daphne cannot speak, Daphne loses her hands. The consolation in the Daphne story is a consolation for Apollo, it makes him less sad; and subsequently he is also to undergo a meaningful process of figuration that restores his narcissism (in a non-pathological way, as you suggest). Again, I have no real problem with this. And again, you are a genius to have drawn all these through-lines in the first place.
But I think it's important we see two experiences in the Daphne story--that of Apollo, which you already identified and traced so successfully; and that of Daphne, which you don't talk about at all (except--through analogy--by discussing Lucretia). After all, it's a little bit of a technicality in the Metamorphoses who gets raped and who doesn't, isn't it? They all end up undergoing the same process of transmutation--and while that transmutation may be the origin of figuration (and thus elegy, and in a valuable sense speech) for Apollo, it is the source of speech.less.ness for Daphne. Hello.
On my third beer, and in my current irritated state, I am a little bit irritated with everybody for not figuring this out. It seems like a lazy failure to confront misogyny. I think this is the beer.
Also, while I am bitching unreasonably about people who are actually very talented, very dedicated scholars and teachers--because I am angry about not getting my own thoughts into words--I am a little bit annoyed at the *choice* of clinical theory in this course. Why not Bowlby? Why this pseudo-clinical stuff? Why Caruth?
Caruth, I think you are really off-base. I think you need to spend more time in a clinical setting with people who are actually trauma survivors. I think your reading of trauma is overly literary, not to say fictionalized.
Kind of a neat idea. . .
The one part of Niles' article on ring composition (which I find almost completely persuasive) that I don't agree with has to do with his reading of the mere. It's hard to make a strong claim that this point of the text is a narrative or thematic climax: for one thing, there is a clear progression in the structure of the monsters that suggests the dragon is the worst-case scenario; for another, the novelty/subliminality of Grendel's mother is undermined by the fact that we have basically seen her before (in a different form). Moreover, her episode is somewhat short, and there is little build-up of dread (even retroactively, as in Wiglaf's after-the-event speech about how everyone had tried to convince Beowulf not to go fight the dragon). Her appearance on the scene reminds me a little bit of the "mother of"/"bride of" convention in horror movie sequels: the original monster returns with a different face. The threat is feminized in order to allow a recapitulation of the original danger. Grendel's mother seems to me to be essentially a resurrection of the original threat. The character has changed (sort of) but the danger is the same. These monster episodes, in my best off-the-cuff judgment at 11:51 this morning, should be considered together.
That's not the kind-of neat idea, though. It strikes me that in looking for a climax at all--whether consciously or unconsciously--Niles may be missing the implication of one of his own theories, namely that rings do not (spacially) have high points or climaxes. The movement of the narrative is voyage-out-and-return, but this movement is conducted without a particular narrative climax.
It's interesting that--as Vendler has commented (I think in her book on young poets)--the chiasm is essentially the structure of forethought. Here I think we get forethought; the poem is composed, built.
That's not the kind-of neat idea, though. It strikes me that in looking for a climax at all--whether consciously or unconsciously--Niles may be missing the implication of one of his own theories, namely that rings do not (spacially) have high points or climaxes. The movement of the narrative is voyage-out-and-return, but this movement is conducted without a particular narrative climax.
It's interesting that--as Vendler has commented (I think in her book on young poets)--the chiasm is essentially the structure of forethought. Here I think we get forethought; the poem is composed, built.
Academic Post 2: Beowulf again
If I am really going to imitate Sacks' method of beginning an argument (through genre), I need to come to a better clinical/psychological understanding of separation, loss, and anxiety. It should be minimal in detail, but accurate.
So here's a sort of outline of concepts:
separation
* protest
* despair
* detachment
mourning
* ?? transfer of affections ??
defense
Except this doesn't work for two reasons: 1) despair = mourning (for who? for Freud? or just for Bowlby?) Also, detachment is somewhat pathological, if I understand correctly. Is defense pathological or part of the normal grieving process? What does defense even mean?
So maybe a more accurate outline looks like this:
separation, as it conceived by Bowlby, is an event with duration rather than a specific moment. (?) But Freud seems to discuss the before and the after with little attention to the moment of trauma itself.
* separation anxiety (Bowlby: protest)
NB: Bowlby suggests that separation anxiety occurs before the event takes place. But how does this make sense with respect to his data, in which he observes separation anxiety in children who have already been taken away from their parents?
* mourning (Bowlby: despair)
* defense OR Bowlby: detachment
Also. . . for crying out loud. . . where in all of these chronologies is the event itself located?
So here's a sort of outline of concepts:
separation
* protest
* despair
* detachment
mourning
* ?? transfer of affections ??
defense
Except this doesn't work for two reasons: 1) despair = mourning (for who? for Freud? or just for Bowlby?) Also, detachment is somewhat pathological, if I understand correctly. Is defense pathological or part of the normal grieving process? What does defense even mean?
So maybe a more accurate outline looks like this:
separation, as it conceived by Bowlby, is an event with duration rather than a specific moment. (?) But Freud seems to discuss the before and the after with little attention to the moment of trauma itself.
* separation anxiety (Bowlby: protest)
NB: Bowlby suggests that separation anxiety occurs before the event takes place. But how does this make sense with respect to his data, in which he observes separation anxiety in children who have already been taken away from their parents?
* mourning (Bowlby: despair)
* defense OR Bowlby: detachment
Also. . . for crying out loud. . . where in all of these chronologies is the event itself located?
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Academic Post:
I wonder whether it's necessary anymore to talk about digressions. That way of thinking about Beowulf is pre-Robinson, pre-Lyerle, pre-Niles, all of whom have advanced more or less persuasive ways of thinking about the episodic structure of Beowulf that seems to obviate the discussion of digressions. However. Nobody so far as I know has tried to do a really comprehensive reading of the digressions. I would like to go through them with a checklist. Someone wrote that they are all about feuds; that's very interesting.
It would be a very interesting short paper to work backwards through the digressions and see whether they had been accounted for.
I don't agree with Niles about the central moment of the poem being somehow deeply significant or Christian. Hmmmmmm.
I wonder whether it's necessary anymore to talk about digressions. That way of thinking about Beowulf is pre-Robinson, pre-Lyerle, pre-Niles, all of whom have advanced more or less persuasive ways of thinking about the episodic structure of Beowulf that seems to obviate the discussion of digressions. However. Nobody so far as I know has tried to do a really comprehensive reading of the digressions. I would like to go through them with a checklist. Someone wrote that they are all about feuds; that's very interesting.
It would be a very interesting short paper to work backwards through the digressions and see whether they had been accounted for.
I don't agree with Niles about the central moment of the poem being somehow deeply significant or Christian. Hmmmmmm.
Oh my gosh, this radio station is improving my life.
I am creating a list of sources as I read them so that I don't forget:
Invocation of the Trinity and the Tradition of the Lorica in Old English Poetry
It's also really working well for me to stay here at the library and work.
I wonder if I would like Talk Talk: Spirit of Eden.
I am creating a list of sources as I read them so that I don't forget:
Invocation of the Trinity and the Tradition of the Lorica in Old English Poetry
It's also really working well for me to stay here at the library and work.
I wonder if I would like Talk Talk: Spirit of Eden.
I am behind on my deadline for TMC. I was supposed to turn in that abstract. I don't even know whether it was supposed to be turned in today in person or by e-mail. . . how does that even work? What do I say about why it was late?
Somehow I feel tired and stressed and joyless. I don't really like presentation season.
Actually, the abstract is due today. So I am only three hours late. I think I can take that.
I need to write four or five response papers for that class.
I have two days of work for Paleography.
I have to write that proposal.
I need to plan a little bit more aggressively once I get through the short-term stuff.
I also need to stop stressing about what I will do this summer. I will solve that problem when I get to it.
I am doing fine. I am just fine. I just need to use the next three or four weeks well. This level of anxiety is normal and I just need to ignore it and tend to business.
Somehow I feel tired and stressed and joyless. I don't really like presentation season.
Actually, the abstract is due today. So I am only three hours late. I think I can take that.
I need to write four or five response papers for that class.
I have two days of work for Paleography.
I have to write that proposal.
I need to plan a little bit more aggressively once I get through the short-term stuff.
I also need to stop stressing about what I will do this summer. I will solve that problem when I get to it.
I am doing fine. I am just fine. I just need to use the next three or four weeks well. This level of anxiety is normal and I just need to ignore it and tend to business.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
I solved my printer problem and came close to having a header for the LC and I like what I did.
At the same time, I was really frustrated with myself because that wasn't the best use of my time.
Hmm. This sounds familiar. I did this earlier with the website.
I think I need to talk to Elizabeth about getting just a subletter this summer. Then I need to devote myself completely to my schoolwork: avoid getting caught up in home projects, avoid getting caught up in LC projects. I can take notes on what will need to be done eventually, and I can focus on short-term maintenance (like bringing in those articles for Okjung). But anything big, like the new websites etc., will have to wait.
Before the meeting on May 5, I need to let Alan know that the three major things on the docket will be a) infrastructure and b) communication, which in this case will mainly mean that I am listening and know that other people are listening.
I need to make sure in my relationship with Alan that I don't make the same mistake I did with Jonathan and the website: i.e., to the degree that I am in a leadership position, I need to act like it. (Thinking about that.)
Here are my deadlines for finals:
Beowulf paper: May 16 Weds at 5 p.m., 15 pp. in theory
TMC paper: May 15 Tues, 20-25 pp.
TMC presentation: April 26 Thurs
Chaucer paper: May 21
Paleography Exam: May 7 Mon
Paleography Presentation May 2 Weds
Paleography final: May 25 Fri
Wow, this really is, like, hundreds of hours of work.
I guess the reality of getting places on time is also the reality of getting papers done on time. There is no "on time"; there is only early or late. So if I want these papers to get done on time, I have to plan on getting them done early.
How did I allow myself to become so disorganized physically this semester? I
At the same time, I was really frustrated with myself because that wasn't the best use of my time.
Hmm. This sounds familiar. I did this earlier with the website.
I think I need to talk to Elizabeth about getting just a subletter this summer. Then I need to devote myself completely to my schoolwork: avoid getting caught up in home projects, avoid getting caught up in LC projects. I can take notes on what will need to be done eventually, and I can focus on short-term maintenance (like bringing in those articles for Okjung). But anything big, like the new websites etc., will have to wait.
Before the meeting on May 5, I need to let Alan know that the three major things on the docket will be a) infrastructure and b) communication, which in this case will mainly mean that I am listening and know that other people are listening.
I need to make sure in my relationship with Alan that I don't make the same mistake I did with Jonathan and the website: i.e., to the degree that I am in a leadership position, I need to act like it. (Thinking about that.)
Here are my deadlines for finals:
Beowulf paper: May 16 Weds at 5 p.m., 15 pp. in theory
TMC paper: May 15 Tues, 20-25 pp.
TMC presentation: April 26 Thurs
Chaucer paper: May 21
Paleography Exam: May 7 Mon
Paleography Presentation May 2 Weds
Paleography final: May 25 Fri
Wow, this really is, like, hundreds of hours of work.
I guess the reality of getting places on time is also the reality of getting papers done on time. There is no "on time"; there is only early or late. So if I want these papers to get done on time, I have to plan on getting them done early.
How did I allow myself to become so disorganized physically this semester? I
note to self. . .
I feel a lot better studying here with good music in my headphones, a clear surface, and some red wine to drink. I am so blessed that I have a fully loaded computer. That memory is really making my Adobe applications work, and my Adobe applications are a godsend. I hope I can create enough value for the LC to be worth a significant raise this summer.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
I need to finish organizing the mailing portion of my website.
Here's how.
1) I need to make a decision about how these books will be shipped.
2) I need to set shipping and handling prices that a) reflect actual costs of shipping and b) can be broken down into a pricing table instead of a per-unit table.
3) I need to input all that information into PayPal.
Here's how.
1) I need to make a decision about how these books will be shipped.
2) I need to set shipping and handling prices that a) reflect actual costs of shipping and b) can be broken down into a pricing table instead of a per-unit table.
3) I need to input all that information into PayPal.
I ended up having a more productive week than I expected.
Today I had a mildly disconcerting conversation with one of the other employees. I was encouraging him to ask for a raise if it would enable him to stay over the summer instead of going home. His response made me wonder how much he is getting paid. I shouldn't care so much because I need to ask for a raise over the summer anyway, and I need to establish new value before I do it, so it doesn't change my game plan much. I need to find out what students are paying. I don't think he is making more than I am planning to ask for.
Today I had a mildly disconcerting conversation with one of the other employees. I was encouraging him to ask for a raise if it would enable him to stay over the summer instead of going home. His response made me wonder how much he is getting paid. I shouldn't care so much because I need to ask for a raise over the summer anyway, and I need to establish new value before I do it, so it doesn't change my game plan much. I need to find out what students are paying. I don't think he is making more than I am planning to ask for.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
5:27 a.m.
Here's what I need to give myself credit for this week:
1) I got a lot done on Beowulf, even if I don't feel like it.
2) I'm on track to work out once more this week than last week.
3) I broke the back of the roman blind monster. I think.
4) I filed my FAFSA.
Here's what I still need to do this week:
1) Figure out for sure whether I am in those two classes.
2) Call Carol.
3) Get materials organized to study for finals.
4) File the rest of financial aid materials.
5) Spend several hours organizing, cleaning, and sorting.
6) Begin new list of expenses for learning center.
7) Call Cynthia.
8) Order new books and binders for learning center.
If possible, finish blinds.
1) I got a lot done on Beowulf, even if I don't feel like it.
2) I'm on track to work out once more this week than last week.
3) I broke the back of the roman blind monster. I think.
4) I filed my FAFSA.
Here's what I still need to do this week:
1) Figure out for sure whether I am in those two classes.
2) Call Carol.
3) Get materials organized to study for finals.
4) File the rest of financial aid materials.
5) Spend several hours organizing, cleaning, and sorting.
6) Begin new list of expenses for learning center.
7) Call Cynthia.
8) Order new books and binders for learning center.
If possible, finish blinds.
I feel really terrible about the number of corners I've cut so far this semester.
I really want to catch up. At the same time, I want to make my apartment look nice. I feel like I have 30+ hours of work to do that.
I hate, hate, hate the windows. I have to fix the windows.
This is why I'm still up at 5:26 in the morning.
I really want to catch up. At the same time, I want to make my apartment look nice. I feel like I have 30+ hours of work to do that.
I hate, hate, hate the windows. I have to fix the windows.
This is why I'm still up at 5:26 in the morning.
I wonder if I should try getting Esther's friend to make the blinds for the living room.
a) Would it even work?
b) Would it be more or less work than just doing it myself?
c) Would it be worth the money?
I wonder how long it will take me to clean up.
I wonder how long it would take me to catch up in all of my classes.
a) Would it even work?
b) Would it be more or less work than just doing it myself?
c) Would it be worth the money?
I wonder how long it will take me to clean up.
I wonder how long it would take me to catch up in all of my classes.
I think I better prepare myself to leave Cambridge in two years, as much as I hate the idea.
I can't control my life. I can't control getting in to a top Ph.D. program. I have to get ready to take some risks.
I don't want to move to a place without Peet's coffee and a learning center. . . or without a top-quality Old English program.
Maybe Yale. Or Stanford. ??
I can't control my life. I can't control getting in to a top Ph.D. program. I have to get ready to take some risks.
I don't want to move to a place without Peet's coffee and a learning center. . . or without a top-quality Old English program.
Maybe Yale. Or Stanford. ??
Things to Try. . .
1. Call Carol.
2. Start recording money spent and time spent.
3. Start picking up, 10' a day.
4. Tomorrow: clean up and get physically organized and prepared. Especially: a) return all library books; b) go to reserve desk and survey the Beowulf materials; c) gather paleography materials.
5. Turn in financial aid paperwork.
6. Pray about weaknesses.
7. Go see registrar.
I did get quite a bit done for my Beowulf paper.
2. Start recording money spent and time spent.
3. Start picking up, 10' a day.
4. Tomorrow: clean up and get physically organized and prepared. Especially: a) return all library books; b) go to reserve desk and survey the Beowulf materials; c) gather paleography materials.
5. Turn in financial aid paperwork.
6. Pray about weaknesses.
7. Go see registrar.
I did get quite a bit done for my Beowulf paper.
Now it's 5:06 a.m. . . .
I can't believe this.
I woke up at 12:00 p.m. today, but still.
I am so far from being able to sleep. And I was watching my caffeine intake today.
I guess my deposit hasn't gone through??
I spent so much money today too. I bought the Chickering Beowulf, and the Sacks book on Elegy. . . that's $30+. And I bought dinner and beer. That was $23. And I bought lunch. That was $6. And I bought coffee and bread. That was $4. A whopping $40 on food. . . that would be $1200 a month if I did that habitually. Which, to be honest, I don't.
What was my time like? Well, I got up at 12:00 p.m. Took about an hour or an hour and a half to get ready, talking to my roommates. Went to class. Got caught up in a conversation with a lady at the coffee shop; 20 minutes. Left class. Bought coffee; spent an hour or so looking for Sacks' English Elegy; took the bus to the gym. I guess all of that time in town took about three hours, including the ride home. That's a lot of wasted time. And I worked out. And then I came home and wasted thirty minutes. And then I went to Uno's and worked and ate, and then I came home and played on the Internet and worked some more.
Tomorrow I need to file that financial aid paperwork. I didn't do it even though it was supposed to be my #1. I have about six #1 priorities right now, and I am scared about catching up in my non-officially registered classes, and I am scared about finals. And I am deeply, deeply scared that I can't seem to maintain even the most important habits for my well-being and that I waste as much time every day as I spend. And my spiritual life is at zero.
I woke up at 12:00 p.m. today, but still.
I am so far from being able to sleep. And I was watching my caffeine intake today.
I guess my deposit hasn't gone through??
I spent so much money today too. I bought the Chickering Beowulf, and the Sacks book on Elegy. . . that's $30+. And I bought dinner and beer. That was $23. And I bought lunch. That was $6. And I bought coffee and bread. That was $4. A whopping $40 on food. . . that would be $1200 a month if I did that habitually. Which, to be honest, I don't.
What was my time like? Well, I got up at 12:00 p.m. Took about an hour or an hour and a half to get ready, talking to my roommates. Went to class. Got caught up in a conversation with a lady at the coffee shop; 20 minutes. Left class. Bought coffee; spent an hour or so looking for Sacks' English Elegy; took the bus to the gym. I guess all of that time in town took about three hours, including the ride home. That's a lot of wasted time. And I worked out. And then I came home and wasted thirty minutes. And then I went to Uno's and worked and ate, and then I came home and played on the Internet and worked some more.
Tomorrow I need to file that financial aid paperwork. I didn't do it even though it was supposed to be my #1. I have about six #1 priorities right now, and I am scared about catching up in my non-officially registered classes, and I am scared about finals. And I am deeply, deeply scared that I can't seem to maintain even the most important habits for my well-being and that I waste as much time every day as I spend. And my spiritual life is at zero.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
2:16 in the morning. . . homework unfinished. . .
This is not what I want to be doing with my time.
I got a lot done today, but I'm not sure it was the right stuff.
I don't think I'm going to my Beowulf class tomorrow, because I'm not prepared for it.
I still feel behind. And I still haven't filed for financial aid.
Wow, am I in need of divine grace.
What would it take for me to even feel in control of my time? Is it a pipe dream? Should I feel bad about taking four or five hours to make the learning center website look good? It's much more useable at this point. . . and I think I may, through Jesus' mercy, have broken the back of the Incredible Roman Blinds Monster.
I also spent two or three hours on my Beowulf paper. . . and that was good.
But I think it was probably the wrong choice to spend all of my time *tonight* on the webpage instead of plowing through my own coursework. I have a good idea for an excellent final paper, maybe even a publishable one. And I am about 75 lines behind, which is about an hour and a half of work. I haven't even started thinking seriously about my other final papers.
I need to deal with my stuff tomorrow. I am happy that I got a lot done. That was good. And it was creative stuff, which is also good. But it probably wasn't the very highest priority stuff, and in the long run, that really does matter. The learning center could have gotten along with an ugly website. But I have less than a month to write 70-100 pages of papers that really matter, and that have a real deadline.
Here are my real priorities:
1) Faith (learning to abide more in God and depend more on God)
2) Service (interacting with children in a way that makes them feel cared for)
2) Vocation (literary criticism and creative writing)
3) Higher-order self-preservation (the house, the gym, my hair, my bills)
4) Careerist stuff (making sure I exceed my job responsibilities at the learning center, getting to class on time)
How can I balance all of these things? Where are relationships on this list? What should I do about all the make-or-break coursework that I have coming up? How can I do a better job tomorrow?
If I do absolutely nothing else tomorrow, I need to deal with my financial stuff. . .
I'm afraid I should just go to class even without preparing.
I'm pretty angry at myself for not making it to the gym more frequently.
How on earth am I going to keep my head above water?
Somehow all of this not-having-enough-time ends up inextricably time to the not-having-enough-money. . . which is pretty ridiculous.
I need to get off the hamster wheel.
?? Is it my values? My perfectionism? My anxiety?
I feel like it's partly just that I'm in school, and I need to be in school, and I don't have time or room to be in school. In many ways, it's not what I would have chosen for myself; it's been a significant sacrifice. It keeps me from the lower-down items on my list, and it contributes to the whole money-time merry-go-round.
Maybe it would be possible, and even wise, to spend two years out of school paying off my debt?
But if I did that, would I ever go back? I feel like I'm ahead of myself already.
I can't keep on living in this limbo, however; the pressure of the denial is killing me.
I got a lot done today, but I'm not sure it was the right stuff.
I don't think I'm going to my Beowulf class tomorrow, because I'm not prepared for it.
I still feel behind. And I still haven't filed for financial aid.
Wow, am I in need of divine grace.
What would it take for me to even feel in control of my time? Is it a pipe dream? Should I feel bad about taking four or five hours to make the learning center website look good? It's much more useable at this point. . . and I think I may, through Jesus' mercy, have broken the back of the Incredible Roman Blinds Monster.
I also spent two or three hours on my Beowulf paper. . . and that was good.
But I think it was probably the wrong choice to spend all of my time *tonight* on the webpage instead of plowing through my own coursework. I have a good idea for an excellent final paper, maybe even a publishable one. And I am about 75 lines behind, which is about an hour and a half of work. I haven't even started thinking seriously about my other final papers.
I need to deal with my stuff tomorrow. I am happy that I got a lot done. That was good. And it was creative stuff, which is also good. But it probably wasn't the very highest priority stuff, and in the long run, that really does matter. The learning center could have gotten along with an ugly website. But I have less than a month to write 70-100 pages of papers that really matter, and that have a real deadline.
Here are my real priorities:
1) Faith (learning to abide more in God and depend more on God)
2) Service (interacting with children in a way that makes them feel cared for)
2) Vocation (literary criticism and creative writing)
3) Higher-order self-preservation (the house, the gym, my hair, my bills)
4) Careerist stuff (making sure I exceed my job responsibilities at the learning center, getting to class on time)
How can I balance all of these things? Where are relationships on this list? What should I do about all the make-or-break coursework that I have coming up? How can I do a better job tomorrow?
If I do absolutely nothing else tomorrow, I need to deal with my financial stuff. . .
I'm afraid I should just go to class even without preparing.
I'm pretty angry at myself for not making it to the gym more frequently.
How on earth am I going to keep my head above water?
Somehow all of this not-having-enough-time ends up inextricably time to the not-having-enough-money. . . which is pretty ridiculous.
I need to get off the hamster wheel.
?? Is it my values? My perfectionism? My anxiety?
I feel like it's partly just that I'm in school, and I need to be in school, and I don't have time or room to be in school. In many ways, it's not what I would have chosen for myself; it's been a significant sacrifice. It keeps me from the lower-down items on my list, and it contributes to the whole money-time merry-go-round.
Maybe it would be possible, and even wise, to spend two years out of school paying off my debt?
But if I did that, would I ever go back? I feel like I'm ahead of myself already.
I can't keep on living in this limbo, however; the pressure of the denial is killing me.
I spent so much time trying to make those blinds. . .
I have spent a hundred million hours, it feels like, trying to complete the "simple" project of creating some roman blinds for my bedroom.
Here's a partial breakdown:
1) 2 hours trying to thread my machine;
2) 20 minutes finding my sewing machine manual;
3) 20 minutes finding my sewing scissors and other supplies;
4) 4 hours yesterday squaring, measuring, and cutting panels;
5) 1 hour today trying to sew a single straight seam, eventually broken into intervals because of the loops;
6) 30 minutes finding lumber;
7) 2 hours finding and buying loop tape;
8) 30 minutes buying a saw.
What is really making me crazy, though, is that I don't understand my machine, so all of the above time is very stressful. I think that's the big x factor. For instance, why on earth is all this thread knotting? I wish I had the time for one of those get-to-know-your-machine classes. . .
I need to figure out why the thread is knotting, and what to do about it. I am also stressed out by the possibility that I am using the wrong equipment. . . especially the wrong feet or needles. . . and just don't know it.
Here's a partial breakdown:
1) 2 hours trying to thread my machine;
2) 20 minutes finding my sewing machine manual;
3) 20 minutes finding my sewing scissors and other supplies;
4) 4 hours yesterday squaring, measuring, and cutting panels;
5) 1 hour today trying to sew a single straight seam, eventually broken into intervals because of the loops;
6) 30 minutes finding lumber;
7) 2 hours finding and buying loop tape;
8) 30 minutes buying a saw.
What is really making me crazy, though, is that I don't understand my machine, so all of the above time is very stressful. I think that's the big x factor. For instance, why on earth is all this thread knotting? I wish I had the time for one of those get-to-know-your-machine classes. . .
I need to figure out why the thread is knotting, and what to do about it. I am also stressed out by the possibility that I am using the wrong equipment. . . especially the wrong feet or needles. . . and just don't know it.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Prepositions in Academic Discourse
Prepositions are a tremendous problem, as. . . to a lesser degree. . . are articles. I wonder where pronouns fit?
I think I need to do a richer statistical analysis of problems in student writing, and figure out which dilemmas really should be solved.
This research project would have two parts:
1) Research into the high-frequency *trouble spots*, i.e. the types of mistakes that intermediate and advanced level ESL students most often make in their writing;
2) Research into the high-frequency items of academic discourse, especially prepositions: in other words, which prepositions (and, more generally, language items and rules governing preposition use) are most common and important for academic writing?
Approaching this project successfully would require a great deal of reading in educational literature, as well as the compilation of a great deal of student writing. (I think I saw a corpus like this somewhere. . . need to find it?)
A good beginning for all of these issues might be getting the Intermediate Grammar in Use problems in the form of flash cards, and starting to hack them and mash them up.
Two possible proxies for these types of issues:
1) The SAT Writing people have clearly decided on a hierarchy of student errors to test: Verbs, Pronouns, Everything Else (Diction, Adjectives and Adverbs, Prepositions, etc.) This order corresponds roughly to my own experience of student writing problems. Is it possible to use this hierarchy as a way to structure a student writing curriculum?
This basic idea could be taught at the same time as the correct writing of a so-called loose sentence, and the basic rule of keeping one's nouns and verbs together.
2) Could we use the Michael West General Service List and the Academic Word List as a basis for research, and observe the patterns of preposition usage that occur most frequently with those nouns and verbs, on the basic assumption that prepositions are essentially dependent on other parts of speech and that teaching the correct and complete use of high-frequency nouns and verbs will allow us to teach the use of the highest-frequency prepositions? At least beyond the basic prepositions of time and space?
It strikes me that prepositions used to convey cause-and-effect, as well as prepositions used to convey circumstances-under-which, are routinely the most problematic. These prepositions are frequently used independent of other nouns and verbs. I need to read and study more about this isse: I have two good resources to help me, both The Ins and Outs of Prepositions as well as the Longman Grammar.
I wonder if I will be able to hack up the BNC Baby corpus in order to create another, more student-friendly corpus containing only sentences with appropriate readability scores. That would be absolutely fantastic.
Does the Longman consider prepositions to function, essentially, as dependent particles? Or does it treat them as lexical items?
In summary, possible indexes of preposition use:
1) Usage of lexical terms such as nouns and verbs, upon which prepositions routinely depend;
2) The Longman Grammar index;
3) The BNC Baby Academic corpus;
4) Understanding of basic functions of prepositions, such as time and space.
5) External linguistic and educational research??
It seems that it would be easy to compile a fairly comprehensive record of prepositions used commonly in English, simply by combining the lists found in the most comprehensive references. However, there is no way this list could be truly all-inclusive. Moreover, a list that suggests nothing about frequency does not really help the early learner.
One last question: which is a more critical issue for the beginning writer, prepositions or pronouns?
Must. . . return. . . later. . . . and think about this in light of others' findings, such as the Longman.
I think I need to do a richer statistical analysis of problems in student writing, and figure out which dilemmas really should be solved.
This research project would have two parts:
1) Research into the high-frequency *trouble spots*, i.e. the types of mistakes that intermediate and advanced level ESL students most often make in their writing;
2) Research into the high-frequency items of academic discourse, especially prepositions: in other words, which prepositions (and, more generally, language items and rules governing preposition use) are most common and important for academic writing?
Approaching this project successfully would require a great deal of reading in educational literature, as well as the compilation of a great deal of student writing. (I think I saw a corpus like this somewhere. . . need to find it?)
A good beginning for all of these issues might be getting the Intermediate Grammar in Use problems in the form of flash cards, and starting to hack them and mash them up.
Two possible proxies for these types of issues:
1) The SAT Writing people have clearly decided on a hierarchy of student errors to test: Verbs, Pronouns, Everything Else (Diction, Adjectives and Adverbs, Prepositions, etc.) This order corresponds roughly to my own experience of student writing problems. Is it possible to use this hierarchy as a way to structure a student writing curriculum?
This basic idea could be taught at the same time as the correct writing of a so-called loose sentence, and the basic rule of keeping one's nouns and verbs together.
2) Could we use the Michael West General Service List and the Academic Word List as a basis for research, and observe the patterns of preposition usage that occur most frequently with those nouns and verbs, on the basic assumption that prepositions are essentially dependent on other parts of speech and that teaching the correct and complete use of high-frequency nouns and verbs will allow us to teach the use of the highest-frequency prepositions? At least beyond the basic prepositions of time and space?
It strikes me that prepositions used to convey cause-and-effect, as well as prepositions used to convey circumstances-under-which, are routinely the most problematic. These prepositions are frequently used independent of other nouns and verbs. I need to read and study more about this isse: I have two good resources to help me, both The Ins and Outs of Prepositions as well as the Longman Grammar.
I wonder if I will be able to hack up the BNC Baby corpus in order to create another, more student-friendly corpus containing only sentences with appropriate readability scores. That would be absolutely fantastic.
Does the Longman consider prepositions to function, essentially, as dependent particles? Or does it treat them as lexical items?
In summary, possible indexes of preposition use:
1) Usage of lexical terms such as nouns and verbs, upon which prepositions routinely depend;
2) The Longman Grammar index;
3) The BNC Baby Academic corpus;
4) Understanding of basic functions of prepositions, such as time and space.
5) External linguistic and educational research??
It seems that it would be easy to compile a fairly comprehensive record of prepositions used commonly in English, simply by combining the lists found in the most comprehensive references. However, there is no way this list could be truly all-inclusive. Moreover, a list that suggests nothing about frequency does not really help the early learner.
One last question: which is a more critical issue for the beginning writer, prepositions or pronouns?
Must. . . return. . . later. . . . and think about this in light of others' findings, such as the Longman.
Example Sentences
I think I need to pull a bunch of example sentences from various corpus sources in order to help students learn the words. I should also pull synonyms.
The up sides:
1) Makes the resource seem more expensive;
2) Allows students to return to the resource later in order to work on active vocabulary;
3) Allows advanced students to master vocabulary and not just learn vague terms.
The down sides:
1) Does not really contain enough information to allow usage
2) Does not allow student to memorize or practice correct usage
3) May contain sentences that are too complex or difficult for children to understand (i.e., may be more confusing than helpful.)
4) May give the illusion of helping children to build their active vocabulary without actually doing it.
And then there's the far more expensive, but extremely preferable, possibility of adding visual mnemonic sentences for each word. The cost for that would run into the thousands. . . probably about a dollar per word. Ultimately, however, it might be the best option all around in that it would illustrate usage and also make the word more memorable.
The million-dollar solution is probably as follows:
A goofy, easy to visualize mnemonic sentence (ideally with an illustration);
Three example sentences tailored to the likely reading level of the children learning the words;
Usage information that includes a) answers to the all-important usage questions, like connotation and "Which words should this be used with?" as well as b) information comparing the words and its synonyms;
Flash cards that help students rehearse the key points of usage as well as the information of knowing the word itself.
A set of short stories that allows the student to see each word in context three to five times
Information about word inflection and morphology (i.e., learning words as families and not simply as individual terms).
The up sides:
1) Makes the resource seem more expensive;
2) Allows students to return to the resource later in order to work on active vocabulary;
3) Allows advanced students to master vocabulary and not just learn vague terms.
The down sides:
1) Does not really contain enough information to allow usage
2) Does not allow student to memorize or practice correct usage
3) May contain sentences that are too complex or difficult for children to understand (i.e., may be more confusing than helpful.)
4) May give the illusion of helping children to build their active vocabulary without actually doing it.
And then there's the far more expensive, but extremely preferable, possibility of adding visual mnemonic sentences for each word. The cost for that would run into the thousands. . . probably about a dollar per word. Ultimately, however, it might be the best option all around in that it would illustrate usage and also make the word more memorable.
The million-dollar solution is probably as follows:
A goofy, easy to visualize mnemonic sentence (ideally with an illustration);
Three example sentences tailored to the likely reading level of the children learning the words;
Usage information that includes a) answers to the all-important usage questions, like connotation and "Which words should this be used with?" as well as b) information comparing the words and its synonyms;
Flash cards that help students rehearse the key points of usage as well as the information of knowing the word itself.
A set of short stories that allows the student to see each word in context three to five times
Information about word inflection and morphology (i.e., learning words as families and not simply as individual terms).
The High Frequency Children's Lists
I cannot for the life of me remember how I organized the high-frequency lists for children. It looks like the following things are true:
1) List 1 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Michael West General Service List;
2) List 3 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Academic Word List;
3) The lists are approximately in order of difficulty.
One important question: should I reorganize the words so that early learners in high school can skip books 5-6? Also, how much overlap is there between these lists and the SSAT lists (especially between books 5-6 and the SSAT lists)?
1) List 1 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Michael West General Service List;
2) List 3 includes all the words that are in both the Dale and Chall list and the Academic Word List;
3) The lists are approximately in order of difficulty.
One important question: should I reorganize the words so that early learners in high school can skip books 5-6? Also, how much overlap is there between these lists and the SSAT lists (especially between books 5-6 and the SSAT lists)?